7 warning signs your body knows you’re with the wrong person
They are signs your nervous systems has 'learned to associate' your partner with stress
Ever broken up with an ex, looked back on the relationship and realised your body was screaming at you to get out of it the whole time?
Well, experts say our bodies send us signs like this all of the time.
Michele Koch-LaFemina, a clinical director at Pathways Recovery, told Stylist: "As a clinician, I see clients overlook physical cues because they're focused on holding relationships together, not noticing how their nervous system is reacting."
Relationship stress can have significant impacts on your body, but because we don't always associate emotional wellbeing with physical health, we can fail to make the connection.
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Psychotherapist Helen Wells from The Dawn Rehab and Wellness Centre Thailand said: "Even a seemingly harmless comment from a partner can trigger a migraine or a wave of nausea, not because you’re weak, but because your nervous system has learned to associate them with stress.”
But if we start paying attention to our bodies, we'll know much sooner when to cut our losses and break up with our significant other.
Here are seven signs you should look out for to see if your partner is right for you or not.
You can’t focus
Struggling to stay concentrated on anything? That could be a bad sign, as therapist Kendall Maloof from Eagle Creek Recovery says that when your body is focused on keeping you emotionally safe, it can’t focus on anything else properly.
She stated: “You start losing things, zoning out when people are talking to you and feeling disconnected from your body. It’s the brain’s way of saying, ‘too much!’”
Upset stomach
The term ‘gut feeling’ doesn’t lie.
Wells said: “Some people experience bloating, nausea, diarrhoea, or IBS flare-ups specifically around their partner or after arguments and write it off as random stomach trouble.
"But, when symptoms worsen at times of relational tension, or ease when you’re away from the relationship, that can be meaningful information.”
The same goes for paying attention to appetite loss, as the body perceives a threat emotionally and slows down digestion to prioritise survival.
Trouble sleeping
Restlessness and the inability to sleep is a huge tell-tale of distress. Wells said: “You might lie awake replaying conversations, rehearsing tomorrow’s interactions, or catastrophising minor disagreements, not because you’re dramatic, but because your nervous system is still on watch.”
Eek, get away from that person!
Feelings of exhaustion
Done nothing all day and still shattered? Your relationship is probably draining you, babe.
Wells said: “This often happens when the relationship requires constant emotional management: predicting moods, smoothing tension, apologising for minor things or shrinking yourself to prevent escalation.”
Changes in breath
You should also look out for feeling short of breath. Maloof said: “Shallow breathing puts the body in a constant state of stress, which reinforces anxiety and exhaustion.
"It’s also a discreet yet significant indication that you might not feel comfortable in your partner’s presence.”
Feeling disconnected
Constantly looking out for someone else instead of yourself because you’re scared of their turbulence can disconnect you from yourself and the world.
Psychologist Dr Candice O’Neil said: “Rather than appreciating a stunning view or enjoying an amazing concert, someone might find themselves ignoring the beauty of these situations as they are internally concentrating or worrying how their partner feels in the moment.
"Almost like reducing your awareness of being in your own body.”
Physical tension
If your body feels tense - jaw clenched, neck stiff, headaches, etc, this could mean you’re with the wrong person.
Wells said: “You might notice [tension] as soon as you hear your partner’s key in the door, even if nothing outwardly is wrong.
"That physical bracing is often the body anticipating conflict, criticism, or emotional work."
Topics: Dating, Mental Health
Lauren Lees