Psychotherapist warns of the impact dating trend ‘orbiting’ can have on you

Dating is one hell of a ride, and quite frankly exhausting at the best of times.

We're constantly learning of new terms, whether it's being 'boy sober', learning how to spot whether your partner is 'future faking' and of course, working out whether you've been 'ghosted'.

It's always better to be safe than sorry though - and we've got your back.

The latest term taking the dating world by storm is 'orbiting' - and this is one you simply need to know about.

Psychotherapist Danielle Sukenik, from the University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus, has shared her insights in a recent column, as well as weighing up the effect they can have on our mental health.

She began by explaining that 'orbiting' is a by-product of good old ghosting.

She wrote: "Ghosting is a sudden disruption in a relationship without any explanation. The 'ghoster' vanishes suddenly, often leaving the other person with questions."

Being ghosted can be extremely painful. (Getty Stock Image)

As for orbiting, she explains: "That’s when someone ghosts but continues to follow the other person on social media by watching stories or occasionally engaging in their content. These behaviours are pretty common, and you might wonder about their impact."

She went on to reference a 2022 study that looked at the effects of ghosting, orbiting and rejection.

The findings were that 'feelings of rejection did not differ between the three breakup strategies – the end of a relationship hurts regardless.'

An orbiter may ghost from your life, but stay in touch on social media. (Getty Stock Image)

But, "The results showed that ghosting led to stronger feelings of exclusion than being rejected outright.

"People in the ghosting category were also more likely to feel that their basic needs of belonging, self-esteem and control were threatened.

"Being orbited, on the other hand, seemed to buffer victims partially from the emotional consequences of a breakup.

"Victims of orbiting, too, reported feeling higher levels of exclusion and threat to their basic needs than those who were rejected outright, but less than victims of ghosting did."

You may be left feeling confused. (Getty Stock Image)

I mean, that checks out. It's definitely painful to still have to see the face of the person who ghosted you online, but understandably less than them disappearing from view entirely.

Sukenik continued in her column: "Understanding a breakup is important and helps individuals recover from the event. With no explanation, the rejected individual may be left feeling confused and uncertain, sometimes with unhealed psychological wounds."

We can definitely relate.

Try not to blame yourself. (Getty Stock Image)

She added: "Orbiting may cause further ambiguity, as the orbiter’s behaviour suggests a mild residual interest in the other person.

"An individual might wonder if the other person is still attracted or might want to return to the relationship. For some people, this uncertainty can be harmful, while others find it easier to let go of a relationship if they’re still receiving some level of digital attention."

Sukenik offers advice on this matter. She says: "Rather than think, 'I did something wrong to cause them to ghost me,' you could think, 'Their decision to disengage from the relationship is more about them and how they relate to others than it is about me.'"

Preach.