Relationship expert reveals why so many women are obsessed with new 'boy sober' dating trend

Prepare yourself, ladies, there's a brand-new bit of terminology to add to our already jamp-packed arsenal of dating trends.

Now, I'm sure you've heard of submarining, bread-crumbing, getting 'zombied' or 'vultured' and even getting stuck in the dreaded 'Ben stage' - but there's a much more positive dating trend making waves on social media at the mo.

The latest dating trend to be coined is having a serious moment on TikTok right now with millions of women all over hopping on the train and putting it into practice themselves.

Since then, relationship expert reveals why so many women are totally obsessed with the new 'boy sober' dating trend.

What does going 'boy sober' mean?

Dating coach, Hayley Quinn, sat down with Tyla and told us a little more about the 'boy sober' trend making its rounds pretty much everywhere right now.

‌She explained that going 'boy sober' sees single women giving up dating altogether in order to focus on themselves.

"This means no situationships, no reaching out to that toxic ex, and keeping their focus purely on their personal development, instead of boys!"

Why are women so obsessed with it?

OK, that all sounds well and dandy but why are so many women becoming obsessed with going 'boy sober' trend?

"Dating can be a huge distraction to other areas of your life," Hayley says. "Anyone who's been caught up in a situationship will tell you, that confusion in your love life, nets out to be an emotional drain on your whole life."

She continued: "A lack of clarity about where you stand with a guy you like may mean you lose focus at work, can't study effectively, or feel constantly preoccupied with your crush."

I'm sure we've all been there.

So, to remedy all of that faff, going 'boy sober' can actually be an 'act of self care' to make sure you have a clear mind as well as keeping all your energy to direct towards other areas of your life.

"In the mess of modern dating, it's easy to see why women are choosing the 'boy sober' approach over a complicated situationship," Hayley adds.

What are the benefits of going 'boy sober'?

The dating coach highlights that 'dating isn't always a priority', adding: "If you really want to accomplish a goal, whether that's passing an exam, or levelling up at work; then putting dating on the back burner can mean that you're distraction free and purposeful towards what's most important to you right now.

"It's also good simply to acknowledge you don't always need to have 'something going on' in your love life, it's valid to have periods of time where you're focusing on other goals."

Say it louder for the gals in the back!

So, if you find that you're always the one in the group who has the 'it was so bad it was funny' story about your love life to share then you may want to consider going 'boy sober' - kind of like a means of resetting your dating life.

"Discovering how to become calm, and focused on your own terms, may also mean when you return to dating, you set a higher bar for who gets to participate in your already full and complete life," Hayley points out.

What to do if you're thinking of going 'boy sober'?

‌So, what advice does the expert give to someone who wants to try out the 'boy sober' trend?

Well, Hayley explains that if you want to give the trend a go, then 'try not to think about it in absolute terms' - think 'I'm never dating again' or 'until next year - no boys'.

"Instead be more flexible, whilst still honouring how you feel today," she continues, advising people to remember: "Right now, my focus isn't on dating so I'm not going to put energy into that area of my life."

Taking a more day-by-day approach means you can stay true to your intentions for self care, whilst avoiding entering into the mindset that dating men is inevitably bad news, she notes before assuring that you can and will have 'fantastic relationships' in the future if that's what you choose.

Hayley concludes: "Use your 'boy sober' time as a reset to help you get back to feeling confident and clear about your life.

"From here, as well as being more able to focus on your wider life goals, you'll also naturally have higher standards for who you choose to date in the future."

Reckon you'll be going 'boy sober' this year?

Featured Image Credit: TikTok/@justhopinaboard/Jamie Grill/Getty Images

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Life, TikTok

Rhiannon Ingle

Rhiannon Ingle is a Journalist at LADbible Group. She graduated from the University of Manchester in 2021 in English Literature. Alongside her studies, she was the Lifestyle Editor of The Mancunian, the largest student newspaper in the United Kingdom. Her favourite topics to write about include sex and relationships, bizarre lifestyle trends and all things travel.