'Seagulling' explained as grim new dating trend sweeps over Gen Z
Over the years, many different dating trends have emerged, often trending on social media.
Modern dating has become a minefield, as people set out searching for love, only to be confronted by breadcrumbing or ghosting.
Recent additions to the dating dictionary are trends like 'pocketing' - where your partner tries to hide you from family or friends, to 'shrekking' (dating someone unattractive so you're the better looking of the two) and even 'future faking' (talking to a partner about a life together, even marriage and kids when they know it's only short term).
Being lied to about someone's intentions is never fun, and the latest trend is just as horrifying, and Gen Z has dubbed it 'seagulling'.
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The nickname comes from the behaviour of seagulls, which if you've ever been down the seafront, you'll know how obsessed they are with food.
They'll steal chips straight from your hand, or take a much-wanted sandwich as you raise it to your mouth.
Where the dating trend comes in, is the fact that the greedy birds are so obsessed with food that they'll keep seeking it even when they're not hungry or don't need it - they just don't want other seagulls to get it.
Sound familiar?
On the romance front, 'seagulling' occurs when someone really doesn't want a relationship with another, but they don't want anyone else to have them, either.
That old chestnut.
It's similar to breadcrumbing, where the victim is given the bare minimum just to keep them hanging on and hopeful, with the person doing the seagulling attempting to keep their claws in.
So far, so toxic.
The phrase first appeared over the pandemic, where many people formed new attachments to fend off loneliness, when there just weren't as many options available, either.
Charisse Cooke is a relationship expert, and told Metro that as humans, we're not very good at handling certain emotions - or letting go.
"As humans we aren’t great at loss. When someone moves in and out of our life, that is a loss however great or small. The thought of that person being with someone else might provoke surprisingly powerful feelings in us because it brings home the fact that we’ve just lost someone, and they’ll be sharing their lives – and bed – with someone else," she says.
If you find you're the one guilty of doing the seagulling,Tess Leigh-Phillips of Your Happy Heart Coach says "Circling jealously in the manner of a seagull is ultimately destructive for all involved (and it will make you dizzy!) Let your ex fly free, and make space in your life for someone new."
Nobody likes their time being wasted.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Social Media, Dating, Dating trends
Jen Thomas