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Topics: Gen Z, Social Media, Life, Dating, Dating trends, Sex and Relationships, TV And Film
Rhiannon Ingle
Topics: Gen Z, Social Media, Life, Dating, Dating trends, Sex and Relationships, TV And Film
Yes, guys, there's yet another key term we need to add to our ever-expanding dating lingo dictionaries.
Just when we thought it couldn't get any worse, battling against an avalanche of dating trends including 'cookie jarring', 'roaching', 'zombieing' and the dreaded 'Ben stage', we've now got to contend with a brand-new one with an even weirder name.
You may have seen the word 'Shrekking' cropping up online over the past few days, and there's good reason why.
As we near closer and closer to the 'cuffing season' - AKA when the chillier autumn and winter months become an especially desirable period to enter into a romantic relationship -, more and more singletons are keen to find someone they can curl up with when the weather doesn't leave us much else to do.
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But, beware, as you may fall victim to 'Shrekking' and, trust us, you really want to avoid this one.
This new dating trend basically involves intentionally dating someone you're not that attracted to in the hopes that they will treat you better than the more 'attractive' suitors out there.
Yep, it sees singletons engage in what they deem to be 'dating down' and opting for a person they reckon is 'lower' than their standards, looks-wise.
Equally, if one does do all this, then they still end up getting treated badly or getting their heart broken, then they've been 'Shrekked'.
If you hadn't already figured it out, the term takes inspiration from the unlikely romance between ogre Shrek and Princess Fiona in the beloved animated franchise.
In short, it's grim.
The new buzzword term has floated about social media for some days now, with many rushing to share their thoughts on it.
"So now there’s 'Shrekking'. Dating someone that’s unattractive in hopes that they’ll treat you better," explained one X user.
A second joked: "When you get the super hot girlfriend but it’s during the Shrekking trend."
"I like Shrekking BUT I don't like to get shrekked," confessed a third while a fourth lamented: "I guess everyone really is shrekking."
A fifth chimed in: "So now there’s 'Shrekking'. Dating someone that’s unattractive in hopes that they’ll treat you better."
"Orbiting and breadcrumbing are ancient history. Just learned about Shrekking and cookie jarring," hit out another. "Dating isn’t a love life anymore, it’s a side quest."
And a final X user echoed: "Ghosting, lovebombing, breadcrumbing, shrekking, throning, paperclipping, benching, modern dating needs a whole semester worth of lectures!"
Dating coach, Amy Chan, told USA Today: "The term might be new, but the behaviour isn’t.
"Plenty of people have put looks lower on the list or hoped attraction would grow over time, and that in itself isn’t a bad thing. Where it backfires is when someone assumes that just because they’re dating ‘down’ in looks, they’ll automatically be treated better."
Of course, there needs to be a base level of attraction for two individuals to work together in a romantic and sexual relationship but the idea of a 'dating hierachy' is a pretty bleak concept to think about.
Reducing people down to certain assets or aesthetics doesn't just fuel the flames of toxic dating dynamics but, more importantly, it also misses the point entirely as someone’s personality, values, life goals, character etc isn’t guaranteed to be 10/10 just because they fall outside conventional beauty standards.
Loving or cruel, respectful or not - how someone treats you simply isn't determined by where you perceive them as ranking on some imaginary 'fit factor' scale.