Love Island star Shaughna Phillips has defended her decision to take daughter Lucia to prison so that the nine-month-old can see her dad, admitting she felt ‘so nervous’ about the bold step.
Shaughna, 29, has previously said she feels both ‘scared’ and ‘guilty’ of raising her child as a single mum, following news that she was no longer with Lucia’s father Billy Webb.
Billy was arrested in January last year, just three months before their daughter was born, having been charged with possession and intent to supply a Class A drug.
Her ex’s incarceration led to her being ‘an unexpected single mum’, saying on her Oh Baby! podcast that it wasn’t how she thought her first step into motherhood would go.
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“And I think I have quite a bit of guilt around that,” she said a few months back.
“I have guilt around her not having the same upbringing that I had.
“It's just something that obviously she doesn't know now, but one day she will know.
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“And I get scared of what people might say to her in the playground and all of these emotions. I'm literally worrying about what's going to happen in seven years' time.”
Shaughna has now revealed how, as part of her journey as a single parent, she takes Lucia to see Billy in prison once a week, in the hope that her daughter can have a relationship with him in spite of the circumstances.
She told OK!: “It’s not a decision I made lightly and I won’t lie, the first time I took her was really scary and daunting.
“I don’t think it hit me what was happening until I got into the building. I was so nervous, but it was never a question for me.
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“I always knew I was going to take Lucia to visit her dad.
“Although it’s the last place on earth I’d hope to take a baby, I just felt like I owed it to her.”
It won’t be until Lucia is 16 months old that Billy will be allowed out of prison on day release.
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“Billy’s obviously missed out on a lot in her life due to his actions but I was never going to stand in the way of him being a dad,” Shaughna said.
The mum explained how the bond between Lucia and her dad is just as important as the one she shares with her – not least because she has happy memories with her own dad, even if she also remembers him not being there. He died from cancer when she was 22.
She added: “I know people might not agree, but if she was older I think I would struggle more with my decision.
“If she was more aware of her surroundings it would be difficult taking her to see him.
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“It’s not nice and you get searched by sniffer dogs.
“I’m grateful, in a strange way, that this all happened when it did.”
Jess Hardiman