Featured Image Credit: SWNS
Topics: Sex and Relationships, TikTok
Ali Condon
A sex expert has shared her top five tips with love-lorn followers on what not do in a relationship, based on her own happy marriage.
Dr Emily Jamea, a certified sex and relationship therapist, has been using social media to spread her advice to a wider audience, and urged couples to avoid some simple, but detrimental, mistakes.
Among her most important tips, Emily, 37, warned that relying on outdated rules, like waiting a certain amount of time to text someone back or holding off until date number three to have sex was a major no-no. Watch here:
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In her rundown, Emily's number one tip was to avoid getting married within one year - especially among younger couples.
“Everyone is on their best behaviour in the honeymoon phase, so you need that time see what you want from the relationship," she explained.
“An older couple might be OK but as a general guide it’s good to wait a year before making that commitment.”
Secondly, the therapist couldn't say enough about the dangers of 'silly and outdated rules and games about dating'.
She insisted that 'waiting three dates to have sex or holding off texting someone back' was a recipe for disaster.
“Do what feels right with who you are instead," she suggested. “Games might work in the short term, but not if you are after something serious.”
The therapist, who also hosts her own sex and relationships podcast, recommended carving out time specifically for intimacy to keep the spark alive.
“If you think about it, you would do that when you were dating. Saying ‘I’ll pick you up at this time to come over to mine’ was an indication to what you both knew would happen," explained Emily.
“Sex is effortless in the honeymoon phase, and you have to have more intention about it as the relationship grows.
“Keeping sex interesting is important too and mixing it up from time to time. You don’t need to go Fifty Shades of Grey crazy but experimenting a bit might help.”
Another of Emily's most essential tips was to stay open-minded and and avoid criticism if there's ever an issue in the bedroom.
“A lot of my clients who come to me about a sexual issue are most upset about how their partner reacted. It’s important to have a neutral response," she shared.
“Their issue might not be anything to do with what you are doing and can be something that can be figured out and worked on.
"If a partner comes to you about an intimacy issue, it’s good to take a beat before you respond.”