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How often most couples actually have sex as scientists issue warning for women who do it less than once a week

Home> Life> Sex & Relationships

Updated 13:11 7 Mar 2025 GMTPublished 12:59 7 Mar 2025 GMT

How often most couples actually have sex as scientists issue warning for women who do it less than once a week

Is there a specific number?

Rhiannon Ingle

Rhiannon Ingle

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I've said it before, and I'll say it again: It's absolutely no one's business how much or little you decide to knock boots, and no one should feel any type of pressure to engage in sexual interaction based on what they think everyone else around them is or isn't doing.

Needless to say, it's clear we do find the weird and wonderful world of sex an extremely fascinating one, with many of us always eager to find out more about, ahem, hanky-panky.

One question which seems to always crop up comes from curious people out there eager to find out just how much couples in long-term committed relationships are doing it - a query which no doubt will have only amped up after scientists issued a 'warning' for women who get it on less than once a week in a study which was published in the Journal of Psychosexual Health.

The weird and wonderful world of sex is something people have been interested seemingly since the dawn of time (Meng Yiren / Getty Images)
The weird and wonderful world of sex is something people have been interested seemingly since the dawn of time (Meng Yiren / Getty Images)

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Well, if you're seeking some perfectly specific number to quantify the 'normal' amount of rumpy pumpy couples are enjoying - you, my friend, will be deeply disappointed.

Now, according to International Society for Sexual Medicine (ISSM), the 'normal' frequency of sex is quite simply the frequency that two partners agree works best for them.

"For some, that might mean having sex several times a day/week/month/year. As long as both partners are satisfied, there is no right or wrong answer," the ISSM notes.

It's also important to note that the definition 'sex' can often mean different things to different people.

So, for example, one study conducted in 2010 saw researchers ask 486 men and women in the United States, who were between 18 to 96 years old, whether they would consider certain intimate activities as 'having sex'.

The 'normal' frequency of sex is quite simply frequency that two partners agree works best for them! (filadendron / Getty Images)
The 'normal' frequency of sex is quite simply frequency that two partners agree works best for them! (filadendron / Getty Images)

Around 95 percent of the participants said 'yes' to penile-vaginal intercourse.

However, some respondents felt that in order for penile-vaginal intercourse to be classified as sex, one of the partners had to reach orgasm with other definitions, including around 45 percent of respondents saying 'yes' to touching, fondling, or manually stimulating a partner’s genitals.

A little over 70 percent said that giving or receiving oral sex was considered 'having sex' while about about 81 percent said anal intercourse was 'having sex'.

There are a number of factors which can have an effect on sexual frequency, including overall health, pain, relationship issues, life events, mental health and mismatched sex drives, just to name a handful.

Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Image

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Life

Rhiannon Ingle
Rhiannon Ingle

Rhiannon Ingle is a Senior Journalist at Tyla, specialising in TV, film, travel, and culture. A graduate of the University of Manchester with a degree in English Literature, she honed her editorial skills as the Lifestyle Editor of The Mancunian, the UK’s largest student newspaper. With a keen eye for storytelling, Rhiannon brings fresh perspectives to her writing, blending critical insight with an engaging style. Her work captures the intersection of entertainment and real-world experiences.

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