There's nothing quite as personal as your wedding vows, is there?
Writing down your feelings for the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with. Quite moving, right?
Well, one groom's vows are giving people all the feels.
Unfortunately those feelings are disgust and anger, as the internet have slammed his vows as 'disgusting' and told his bride to run for the hills.
Advert
A clip of Michael reading his vows to Denise went viral after it was uploaded to videographer Jonathan Pajak's TikTok channel.
In the video, which has gained more than 29 million views, Pajak can be heard asking Michael: "Anything you want to say to your future bride?"
After considering his answer for a second, the groom replied: "I hope we have a lot of sex."
Advert
Er...right then.
The vows were even racier than that.
Reading from a sheet of paper, Michael said: "Only two things are required to keep me happy - keep my belly full and my balls empty.
"While you're really amazing at half of it, we really need to get you some cooking lessons.
Advert
"Even when my belly isn't full, there's no one I could ever love more in this lifetime.
"Unless I actually get a chance to meet Margot Robbie."
A straight man attracted to Margot Robbie? Stop the presses!
Advert
Whilst his bride cracks up in laughter, Michael continues: "Life gets even better when the kids fall asleep and you tell me to come to the bedroom.
"Nothing's better than the sound of gagging and headboard slamming."
I'm sure that was fun for their families to hear.
And top it off, Michael finished his vows with this line: "Since you're so good at making decisions like marrying me, you can choose whether tonight's going to end with you being a toaster strudel or a twinkie."
Advert
Well...I've lost my appetite.
Viewers on TikTok were not impressed with Michael's unconventional approach to writing vows and slammed him in the commenters.
One wrote: "The Margot Robbie comment would make me scream," whilst another commented: "RED FLAG!! GIRL RUNNNNNNNN!!"
Another disgusted viewer wrote: "Some women will take disrespect and call it love."
Some commenters simply commented a series of red flag emojis, whilst others questioned why Michael said these racy things in front of his family.
Denise, the bride in question, didn't let these comments go unchallenged and took to TikTok to defend her husband: "So I'm the bride and no this isn't a red flag.
"We have been together for 10 years now and decided to get married right before our 10th year."
If she's happy with the vows, what does it matter to anybody else?
Now I'm curious to see the best man's speech.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, TikTok, Wedding
Ben Thompson