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A woman has asked her husband to pay her nearly $50,000 (£38,000) to have their child.
Her 34-year-old partner, who goes by @husbandmaybefather on Reddit, spoke about his partner’s request on a relationships subreddit in a post which was titled: "She has asked me to pay her almost $50,000 to have our child, and I’m not quite sure what to do.”
In the now-deleted post which has since been reshared to Twitter’s @redditships, the man explained that he and his wife, 29, have been together for six years but “spiritually married” for two.
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The Reddit user explained how although the pair aren’t “legally married”, they are seen as such by common law due to their housing situation and length of time they’ve been together.
The man continued to explain how he and his wife are on the high-earning spectrum, earning more than $175,000 per year after tax (£133,000), and that they split financial living costs in half between them.
He said: “Our mortgage payments were 50-50 and we comfortably own our home now, so much of our income goes to savings, investments, home improvements and discretionary spending.”
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The social media user then explained how they wanted to spend the beginning of their marriage travelling, but were unable due to the pandemic and lockdowns.
They have since “decided it might be a good time to have kids instead of continuously waiting for better or safer travel conditions.
“Without too serious discussion about it, we decided to stop using birth control and let things happen as they will.”
The man was more recently brought to the attention of his wife’s financial situation regarding their future child, with his wife explaining that while her workplace does allow a full year of maternity leave, it is only paid for up to six months at 50% of wages, with the last six months being unpaid.
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The pair discussed the financial side of her workplace maternity leave, with the man adding his wife was “very direct” about wanting to be compensated for the $50,000 that she would lose during her six months in growing and caring for their child.
He said: “She is asking me to compensate her for that $50,000, in addition to agreeing to split any related but unexpected costs to pregnancy and childbirth.
“Her stance is that she is doing something for us to start a family but it is not a true 50-50 split if she is expected to take a financial hit for it and I am not, given that our finances are separate.”
The man continued to explain how he’s struggling to wrap his head around his wife’s monetary request, and that it was a “lot to demand” in spite of their weighty salaries.
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People have since jumped to the woman's defence, pointing out that a stay-at-home parent’s time and work is just as important.
“So what I just read is, "My partner will take the physical and career damage in order to bear our child (and the long-term financial consequences arising from those), but I am deeply repulsed and offended that she won't take the short-term financial damage as well,” Helen said of the post.
“He wants no romance in the finance but wants her to be romantic about motherhood which is the crux of modern life right there,” another said of the husband.
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A different Twitter user wrote under the post: “This makes total sense, because you decided to completely keep your income separate. You are expecting her to be ok with being totally screwed financially to become a mom while you take no financial hit. Pregnancy shouldn't be her burden both physically & financially. Grow up.”
A different social media user noted: “In a ‘traditional’ family, she would be a stay-at-home mom and he’d be paying ALL the bills. For everything. Kids, clothes, food, hospital, everything. Seems like 50-50 isn’t really 50-50 for him.”
Featured Image Credit: Kelly Sikkema on UnsplashTopics: Life, Parenting, Sex and Relationships, Wedding
