People reveal ‘subtle signs’ you grew up in a toxic household that you might not realise aren't 'normal'

Growing up in a toxic environment will do certain things to you and can have lifelong impacts that bleed into your romantic relationships, friendships and your own mental health.

It’s not always obvious that your family home was toxic, as you may grow up believing this strange dynamic was normal.

So it can be hard to spot the signs that you’ve grown up in a toxic household until you begin to relate to other people with shared upbringings.

If you’ve ever wondered if your ‘odd’ home dynamic was toxic and affected you in any way, a Reddit thread could hold the answers.

In the #AskReddit subreddit, someone asked: “What's a subtle sign someone grew up in a toxic household, but they think it's normal?”

And boy did they open a can of worms. Here’s what they said:

You might think you aren't loved if you argue (Getty Stock Images)

Believing you’re not loved after an argument

According to commenters, this one is pretty spot on with how they view conflict.

One person wrote, sparking mass agreements: “Thinking your partner no longer loves you when you two have a conflict.”

Another added: “Or when they're busy doing normal things and you haven't had a full conversation in a day or two and you start thinking they've lost interest.”

Someone else shared that it’s ‘not just a partner. I find myself doing it with friends, too.’

Lastly, a Redditor agreed: “I feel this so deeply. I fear the end is always on the horizon. After past relationships, I feel disposable and always have a plan B.”

You have to overexplain (Getty Stock Images)

Over-explaining

According to those in the thread, over-explaining is a key sign of having grown up in a toxic environment.

One person wrote: “Explaining rationale behind every single action and decision. Often a sign of being frequently punished without reason.”

Another said: “I know someone who lists their motivations and reasons for everything they do and will tell you everything they bought was discounted. They will explain this to anyone…the person in the post office, me a waiter etc.”

Someone else said: “Was thinking the exact same thing. It's a learned habit that is hard to get rid of. Having an unpredictable, agressive dad will do that to you.”

Being scared of loud arguments is a subtle sign (Getty Stock Images)

Struggling with loud arguments

Sometimes, toxic homes also come with violence or aggression, making the child grow up fearing those situations.

A user explained: “I struggle to be around any sort of loud arguments well into my 30's because of all the times my parents would scream at each other due to issues around custody.”

Someone else reflected: “I’m in my 30s and struggle being around loud drunk people. I have a ‘no drinking on holidays’ rule which means I get to spend every holiday alone.”

Another person shared: “Yes. I cant deal with fights. Men speaking loudly at me, the quick raising of hands. Its hard.”

Other things people came up with which showed them how growing up with toxic people shaped them included ‘having no sense of boundaries' and 'constantly needing to people please because growing up they felt like they had to be the one to keep the peace because all the adults failed to do so.’