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Topics: Sex and Relationships, Wedding, Mumsnet, Social Media
Saskia Calliste
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Wedding, Mumsnet, Social Media
A woman has taken to Mumsnet after she 'accidentally' read her husband's messages from a group chat she didn't know he had.
Before you say, 'you shouldn't be going through peoples' phones in the first place', this woman had a very valid reason.
Wanting to plan a surprise for her husband's upcoming birthday, she needed the contacts of some of his friends so she went looking. Probably not wanting to ask him directly out of risk of alerting him to the surprise, she took the route most of us would, but ended up reading some things she really didn't want to see.
Posting to Mumsnet, the woman said: "I have been planning a milestone birthday celebration for DH [Dear Husband] and went on his phone to get some of the numbers of his friends I wanted to invite. When I opened up his WhatsApp chat group with his mates I was horrified to find some awful messages about me.
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"What I read was along the lines of 'I'm stuck in a miserable marriage, I wish I could have an affair, but she will take all my money & I wouldn't have anywhere to live or have anyone over, she can keep my son, I just want to keep my money'. His friends are complicit in their replies 'describing it as a lose lose situation'."
Ouch!
Unfortunately, but as we all could have probably predicted, it gets worse.
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She continued: "Another one has said 'it wouldn't be so bad if you split up'. There's lots of messages about 'hot mum friends' and referencing other women and their appearance and romanticising about ex girlfriends, referring to a sliding doors moment and then ending up with me. There's a picture he's taken of a girl he's seen in public and references like she's so hot.
"It's all really demeaning and disrespectful to me. Once I saw these messages, I went looking for others and I know it was wrong to look but I did. I found messages to friends where DH has lied about me, made up things I've supposedly said, to make me look bad."
Told you it got worse.
The poster explained that she had been with her husband for five years and the messages reflect her in a bad light. He had told his friends that she was 'financially dependent' on him and that she was 'lazy'.
She also went on to say the hardest part was the fact that all his friends were 'complicit' in the way he had been painting her out to be.
The woman concluded her post by saying: "I've sat on it for 3 weeks whilst I make a plan to leave. I don't think there's any coming back from this. I haven't confronted him because I know I shouldn't have looked at his phone."
People in the comments acted exactly how you can imagine they would, with some even suggesting plots of revenge.
One wrote: "I would arrange the party and have a slideshow showing all the quotes from his messages on a big screen in front of his friends and their wives. Would be amazing. What an absolutely disgusting man."
Another added: "I agree with you that there’s no coming back from this. Get a plan in place first and then speak to him. Sorry this has happened to you."
And a final user said: "How utterly heartbreaking. What a terrible thing to read. As you say everything now is about leaving this nasty piece of work. Seek legal advice and detach emotionally from this creep. Ducks in a row. YOU DESERVE BETTER!"
Here, here.