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Topics: Sex and Relationships, Life, Real Life, True Life
Rhianna Benson
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Life, Real Life, True Life
Sometimes the escalation of harmful or damaging behaviour in relationships is noticeable enough to make you realise it's time to say goodbye for good.
In some cases, however, these red flags are able to seep through the cracks and go ignored, keeping you trapped inside a relationship that is entirely different to how it was at the beginning.
If the term 'papercut' has intrigued you but doesn't ring any bells, perhaps it is because it is seemingly a newly formed turn of phrase.
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While 'red flags' in general refer to displays of questionable behaviour which bring to question whether that person is really best suited to you, 'papercuts' seem to describe actions and exploits that are often overlooked as they don't hurt in the moment, but will affect your relationship in the long run.
The word has been perfectly explained by one particular Twitter user, who spoke about these 'papercuts' online this week.
"We don't talk nearly enough about "papercuts' in a relationship," they began the discussion before listing several of the key toxic indicators that shouldn't be ignored.
"Everytime there's raised voices, cruel words, lack of support, short temper, lack of affection, etc., a tiny wound is created.
"Not enough to make you leave, but enough to make part of you pull away & lose a little love everytime."
The emotional post continued with a warning to those in long-term relationships: "One day those wounds create a chasm so deep its unfixable.
"What isn't a 'big deal' to you today could be a chasm tomorrow. Nurture your partner, walk with gentleness, & apologize freely.
"It's much easier than living with regret at the edge of a chasm."
According to a relationship counsellor, Georgina Sturmer, these 'papercuts' might be an indication of a pattern of behaviour.
When speaking about what to look out for, she told Grazia: "We might feel unappreciated, irritated or angry but we might feel embarrassed or guilty."
And naturally, the message on X has sparked a tidal wave of heartfelt responses from those who took it upon themselves to share their own story.
Taking to the comments, one penned: "Thank you for articulating this. after my last relationship ended I thought of several of these 'paper cuts' and this is exactly what happened.
"We didn’t break up when they happened but in hindsight, I didn’t look at him the same."
Another added: "I understand this!! The other day somebody told me 'you can’t bleed on the person who didn’t cut you' & this adds more context to that. This is soooo true."
"I’m going through this right now, it’s so sad," a third admitted, before a fourth continued: "Damn .. this hit home .. got out of my last relationship cuz of these papercuts".