Psychotherapist reveals how to spot if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist

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Psychotherapist reveals how to spot if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist

There are a series of traits that can help you identify someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)

A psychologist has revealed the key traits to look out for if you suspect someone might be a narcissist.

The term itself has been thrown around quite a bit nowadays, whether it's taking aim at an ex or referencing a bad friend you've cut out of your life.

However, if you are really dealing with one, it can sometimes be hard to spot, as they can be charming and complimentary before revealing their true nature.

But first, for those unfamiliar with the term, as per Mayo Clinic, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is actually a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance.

They often seek attention and want people to admire them, but may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. However, behind the confident mask, they're most likely unsure of their own self-worth and can be easily upset by the slightest criticism.

How to spot a narcissist

Speaking last week on ITV's This Morning, psychotherapist Kathleen Saxton broke down the key traits and behaviours you need to be aware of.

She explained how nine traits in total are associated with NPD, and if someone is showing five of them 'on constant display' then you are likely dealing with a narcissist.

The first trait is a lack of empathy, so if you're in a relationship with a narcissist, they will rarely care about something that only affects you and not them.

The expert explained: "So, complete lack of empathy. So something happens to you or around you, they have no care or interest whatsoever and unless maybe performatively in the moment, that's it."

Secondly, they may 'exploit' your relationship with them, making sure to use it in a way that benefits them.

Psychotherapist Kathleen Saxton revealed exactly how you can spot a narcissist in your life (YouTube/ThisMorning)
Psychotherapist Kathleen Saxton revealed exactly how you can spot a narcissist in your life (YouTube/ThisMorning)

Saxton said: "Very exploitative around your relationship with them. So whatever form of relationship you have, they'll be exploiting you to get something that they want or making sure that you're making them look great."

She further explained that they will be 'Incredibly selfish so everything will be about them' but 'it could come in different forms', with the psychotherapist adding: "They could be trying to get attention for themselves or it could be via covert means so they're getting lots of sympathy.

"They might tell you a terrible story about how they've sacrificed themselves as a parent but actually it's their way of getting attention drawn in, in some form."

She continued: "So there's lots of other parts to that. Lots of arrogance, a real issue with criticism. So you'll either get a sort of what we call a narcissistic collapse if you criticise them, or they'll attack you one way or the other. There'll be some sort of rage.

"So lots of different traits but they're the five that I tend to see the most active when I'm working with one or noticing one."

Mayo Clinic reports that treatment for NPD centres around talk therapy, also called psychotherapy.

The website also outlines that NPD affects more males than females, and it often begins in the teens or early adulthood, rather than in childhood.

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Topics: Mental Health, This Morning, Life, Sex and Relationships