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Sometimes, it can be hard to spot a narcissist right away—especially when they’re charming, confident, and full of compliments. But beneath the surface, certain telltale behaviours reveal more about their true nature.
From subtle signs in their body language to the way they respond to criticism, psychology provides us with powerful clues to identify narcissistic traits early on.
Whether you’re dating someone new, meeting a colleague, or just feeling wary about a friend, these five psychological tricks can help you see if narcissism might be at play.
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Danish Bashir, a narcissistic abuse recovery coach outlined five tricks to help you see if narcissism might be a play.
Tell them 'no'
Bashir states to discern if someone is a narcissist, try saying 'no' to something they really want and refuse to back down.
While most people would be fine with this, a narcissist will have an extreme response.
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"It doesn't need to involve conflict; simply set a firm boundary and observe their reaction when they don't get what they want," he wrote on Instagram.
"Narcissists typically do not accept a 'no' easily and may seek revenge when criticised."
Tell them about your pain
The second step is to tell the person about your pain and watch their reaction to see how they make your pain relate back to themselves.
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"They'll try to one-up your story or divert the focus from your pain to theirs. They'll even gaslight your feelings and experiences, making their pain seem like a bigger deal, and you will end up comforting them," Bashir says.
Observe their behaviour when you're crying
Bashir claims that the third step is to observe how a narcissist behaves whenever you are feeling intense emotion, because showing emotion is a major inconvenience for them.
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"They react indifferently or even appear bewildered by your tears, as if crying is an abnormal behaviour. Some derive satisfaction from your distress," Bashir writes.
Evaluate their behaviour when you are sick
We all can get sick and of course would love the person we care about to empathise and look after us.
However, we should evaluate a suspected narcissist's behaviour when you are sick. According to Bashir, a narcissist finds your illness inconvenient.
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"Their lack of empathy becomes apparent when they show frustration that you cannot perform tasks for them, like cooking or cleaning. They often show interest only in the enjoyable aspects of relationships, disregarding your wellbeing," he writes.
Test how they act when your share feelings
Lastly, you should test how they act when your share your feelings. Narcissists typically cannot put themselves in your shoes, according to Bashir.
"Whenever you try to share how you are feeling - particularly if it's about something they did that hurt your feelings - they will accuse you of being angry and express their reluctance to deal with your anger," he writes.
"At other times, they might simply look at you and not respond at all, just staring as if they are not listening to you."
Topics: Mental Health, Life
Sara Keenan