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Psychologists reveal how you can spot if your parter is ‘future faking’ with one key sign
Home>Life>Sex & Relationships
Published 11:11 16 Apr 2024 GMT+1

Psychologists reveal how you can spot if your parter is ‘future faking’ with one key sign

Psychologists have revealed how to spot if your partner is exhibiting this narcissistic behaviour

Lucy Devine

Lucy Devine

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Featured Image Credit: TikTok/drjustineweber/fizkes/Getty Images

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Dating trends, Mental Health, Advice

Lucy Devine
Lucy Devine

Lucy is a journalist working for Tyla. After graduating with a master's degree in journalism, she has worked in both print and online and is particularly interested in fashion, food, health and women's issues. Northerner, coffee addict, says hun a lot.

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@lucedevine

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When you're at the beginning of what feels like a great relationship, it can be hard not to start imagining all kinds of future plans with your new partner.

In fact, it's pretty easy to get swept up into the fantasy when you're in the honeymoon period.

And it's especially encouraging if your partner is on the same page, discussing all kinds of grand plans for the future.

But what happens when those plans don't actually come to fruition?

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How do you know if your partner is future faking? (	Catherine Falls Commercial/Getty Stock Image)
How do you know if your partner is future faking? ( Catherine Falls Commercial/Getty Stock Image)

Psychologists have revealed how to spot if your partner is 'future faking'.

What is 'future faking'?

The savage dating trend is often used by narcissists - or those with narcissistic tendencies - to appease you in the present moment, only to let you down in the long term.

In a TikTok video, Dr Justine Weber explains that 'future faking' is essentially empty promises to keep you hanging on, if you're 'feeling discouraged'.

Meanwhile Joel Frank, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and owner of Duality Psychological Services explained future faking is used to 'shift attention away from the present moment to the future, so they can maintain control over the relationship and avoid taking accountability for their actions'.


How can you spot a future faker?

International psychologist and licensed marriage and family therapist, Patrice Le Goy, explained that 'future fakers' tend to make false promises to cast themselves in a positive light.

Patrice explains that one of the main signs of a future faker is love bombing, aka

lavishing you with affection in a bid to manipulate and assert influence.

Patrice told Popsugar that the person may 'shower you with gifts, claim you two are destined to be together, or demand a commitment'.

"This might feel good at first, but it can also be overwhelming since it's meant to feed the love bomber's ego rather than benefit the recipient."

Another red flag is using your insecurities as a way of influencing your decision making.

For example, if you were unhappy with your job, they might encourage you to leave because they could financially support you instead.

"It's really a way of taking over someone's life and taking their autonomy away," said Patrice.

"Instead of empathising with you, the future faker's goal is to step in and solve the problem for you, which allows them to gain control in the relationship."

One sign of 'future faking' is love bombing behaviour (Kinga Krzeminska/Getty Stock Image)
One sign of 'future faking' is love bombing behaviour (Kinga Krzeminska/Getty Stock Image)

Dr Frank explained the psychology behind why future fakers exhibit this kind of behaviour - and it makes total sense.

Ultimately, these types of daters 'build up a narcissistic supply' thanks to the reassurance of being in a relationship.

"This means having reassurance or developing relationships that disprove the internal beliefs they have about themselves of not being good enough. So, they'll look for a partner who tends to dive into relationships quickly and tells them how amazing their plans sound," he said.

But whether they actually plan on carrying out any of these plans is another story.

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