Psychologists reveal how to spot if someone is a ‘dark empath’
Psychologists have revealed exactly how to spot if someone is a 'dark empath' and explained just why such people are so dangerous.
Many of us have grown up being taught that having empathy is a virtue, but it would appear that being empathetic mixed in with a toxic dose of manipulation leads to the extremely unsettling personality type.
According to expert Suzanne Degges-White, dark empaths are believed to have a 'high degree of cognitive empathy' which allows them to know exactly what to say and what to do in order to 'expertly manipulate their targets and achieve their aims'.
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Degges-White warned: "While they don’t tend to experience a wide range of emotions, they are able to cognitively understand what others are feeling and this skill can be a threat to your well-being if you are in their crosshairs as a mark."
This means that they (intentionally or not) damage their relationships while they’re, on the surface, the best person you’ve ever met.
She explained that they have traits of psychopathy, as well as narcissism and Machiavellianism - known as the Dark Triad - and it can be hard to know when you have unwittingly entered a friendship or a relationship with a dark empath.
"Exiting a relationship with a dark empath is always best accomplished as early in the relationship as it can be done to avoid as much damage or heartache as possible," the licensed counselor added.
So, to help make sure you don't end up shacking up with one of these individuals, psychologists has revealed some major red flags which should be able to help you spot if someone really is a 'dark empath'.
A dark empath is extremely charming
Dan Jones, Associate Professor of Management in the College of Business at the University of Nevada Reno, told well + good that dark empaths often use a superficial charm as a key component when it comes to manipulating you.
Because of this, they may not be overtly argumentative as they're too focused on playing up the positive parts of their personality they know you'll gravitate towards.
"Being a curmudgeon, or argumentative, has nothing to do with the duplicity [of Dark Triad types]. If anything, it's antithetical to some of the superficial charm that these traits possess," Jones says.
"So, if you bump into somebody at a cafe and they start up a political argument with you, they're likely not high in any of the Dark Triad traits - they're just argumentative.”
A dark empath’s kindness feels fake
The dark empath in your life might be a smooth talker who compliments you, but something feels off.
It’s like they aren’t being genuine.
This could be because psychopathy is a trait that they also possess, which means that may not be able to genuinely relate to your emotions.
Clinical and forensic neuropsychologist Dr Judy Ho said: "Essentially [dark empaths are] looking for people who are especially in a vulnerable place and then using that information to either feign a connection and say, ‘Oh, I've been there,’ or to manufacture a story about their own childhood that makes you feel like, ‘Okay, this is my soulmate'."
A dark empath might manipulate you
Whether knowingly or unknowingly, your dark empath could be manipulating you to do their bidding.
Degges-White shared that they also exhibit Machiavellianism, which is ‘a person’s use of manipulation through lying or deceit to convince others to do what they want them to do.’
A dark empath could guilt-trip you
A dark empath is likely to twist a situation to avoid taking accountability.
Neuropsychologist Dr Sanam Hafeez told well + good: "Since dark empaths have the ability to read people so well, they sense what others need and play the complementary role to satisfy their own personal agend.
"The dark empath will guilt trip you into thinking you’re at fault for something you’re not."
A dark empath could gaslight you
Dr Hafeez warned that dark empaths are more likely to gaslight the people in their lives.
"They will use these tactics to continue staying in control," she said.
"Dark empaths have no emotion as to how the other person feels and will twist the scenario around to work in their favour.
"If the 'victim' catches on to the dark empath's tactics, the latter will likely question your sanity instead of taking accountability."
A dark empath loves malicious humour
Has someone in your life told a really startling joke about another person which cuts like a knife?
Dr Hafeez says dark empaths use humour to belittle people they see as beneath them.
So if you spot any of these signs in your friends or partner, you could be dealing with a dark empath.
Topics: Advice, Life, Mental Health, Sex and Relationships
Rhiannon Ingle