Woman ‘shamed and ghosted by men’ after disclosing herpes diagnosis on dating app profile
A woman has been left shellshocked by the awful response she got after she shared that she has been diagnosed with herpes on her dating app profiles.
Victoria Jones, 23, from Greater Manchester, shared her story about contracting herpes and being open about it online - and she has gone viral on social media.
The herpes diagnosis came in April 2020 when Victoria caught it from somebody she was dating.
Victoria shared: "It was the worst day of my entire life.
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"I went into the toilets and I just cried, I thought no one would ever want to be with me again.
"I always use protection and get tested straight away. It freaks me out the thought of getting anything, you can even get it with a condom on.
"The hardest thing is that some people don't even know they have it, you could be asymptomatic and not have any outbreaks.
"The tests are not always right, it's so hard to know if you actually have it."
Victoria opened up about her choice to declare having herpes on dating apps, as well as the pressure she has felt to remove it after backlash - but resolves to stay strong.
She said: "I've been ghosted, I've been called a s**g. People are not very nice about it.
"Putting it on my profile didn't go down very well. It wasn't the positive experience I wanted it to be.
"I got about two matches in two weeks whereas before I would probably get about ten a day. Nobody was swiping at all.
"I got some nasty comments. One person said 'I just thought you were joking. I didn't think you actually had herpes. Are you being serious?'. Then he just unmatched me.
"The people that did swipe right were people I wouldn't really sway towards. It's a shame, I did have to take it off which I didn't want to."
As for how it makes Victoria feel when she has to disclose her herpes status, she shared that it feels 'horrendous'.
She said: "You don't know how they're going to react. It's really horrible.
"I think 'are they going to accept me? Are they going to think I'm someone I'm not?'
"When you say the word 'herpes' people just completely back off, they treat you differently.
"I had a date planned and he just completely switched off and ghosted me."
She added: "I feel like it's a misconception of people thinking you sleep around all the time. It's really not the case, it's just unfortunate."
Despite the negative reception from potential matches, Victoria has also received a lot of praise.
She shared: "I've had some really good disclosures recently of telling people and they've been so accepting. It does weed the good from the bad."
Victoria often takes to TikTok to share videos about living with herpes.
One of her videos, which she simply captioned "I have herpes and I'm not ashamed", has since garnered over one million views.
Some viewers have thanked Victoria for her openness and bravery.
One person wrote: "It's so common and nothing to be ashamed of."
Another said: "You're so brave and real for this."
NHS advice on herpes
It's always best to be informed about STI's, and the NHS have issued the following information about herpes.
- Genital herpes is a sexually transmitted infection (STI) passed on through vaginal, anal and oral sex. There's no cure. Symptoms clear up by themselves, but the blisters can come back (an outbreak or recurrence).
- Genital herpes is caused by a virus called herpes simplex. Once you have the virus, it stays in your body. It will not spread in your body to cause blisters elsewhere. It stays in a nearby nerve and causes blisters in the same area. If you can, avoid things that trigger your symptoms.
- Triggers can include: ultraviolet light – for example, from sunbathing or sunbeds, friction in your genital area – for example, from sex (lubricant may help) or tight clothing, smoking, drinking alcohol.
- Symptoms can include: small blisters around your genitals, anus, thighs or bottom, which result in red, open sores when burst. There may also be tingling, burning or itching around your genitals, pain when you urinate and unusual discharge.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, TikTok, Real Life
Kya Buller