Featured Image Credit: YouTube/Debbie Rivers/Vincent Besnault/Getty Images
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Real Life
Jess Hardiman
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Real Life
A dating expert has revealed one obvious sign of a ‘relationship killer’, which means things sadly won’t last.
While many of us are warned about the red flags to look out for while dating prospective suitors, sometimes it’s hard to see when something’s wrong when you’re in a settled relationship.
Expert Debbie Rivers believes there’s a key and obvious sign that things aren’t going well, saying it often serves as a ‘predictor of divorce’.
Rivers is a dating and relationship coach who focuses on both the inside ('how you feel and approach love') and the outside ('the impression that others get of you'), with a goal to ‘arm’ others with the tools and strategies to ‘attract the right person’.
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Over the years, the Aussie expert has been ‘empowering’ singles while also helping couples work through their problems, having been inspired to get into the gig after her 21-year marriage that she hoped would ‘last forever’ fell apart.
Through her decade of experience, Rivers has uncovered a lot about what makes relationships work - and what doesn’t.
But she reckons there’s a particular warning sign to look out for, saying it’s the ‘biggest’ indicator that things won’t last.
According to Rivers, contempt is something that can ‘kill’ relationships, as it reflects how one person treats their partner.
She said: "Contempt shows disgust about the other person and it's different to criticism. You can see how that will kill any relationship and make it hard to resolve your problems in the relationship.
"If there is contempt in your relationship it is the biggest predictor that you are headed for a breakup or a divorce."
Contempt is a term used to describe the feeling that a person is worthless or not worthy of consideration - sentiments often driven by anger and resentment.
It could be your partner slipping in snide insults, regularly being sarcastic, ridiculing you or calling you names.
Rivers continued: "It is feeling like they are beneath you - an air of superiority. It's hard to solve a problem if your partner gets the idea/message that you are disgusted with them.
"It tends to happen when there are long-term resentments and unresolved issues in a relationship. It is those continual negative thoughts about your partner."
Fellow Aussie dating expert Dr Lurve also agreed that contempt is the little-known 'silent killer', advising that it’s best caught early if it’s something you want to work on.
"It's crucial for couples to recognise the warning signs early on and address them head-on," she said.
"Open, honest communication and a commitment to mutual respect can serve as powerful antidotes to contempt, fostering healthier and more enduring connections."