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Swinger claims opening up your relationship can make it last longer

Emma Guinness

Published 
| Last updated 

Swinger claims opening up your relationship can make it last longer

Featured Image Credit: Instagram / mrsvistawife

Vista Wife is on a mission to educate people about the swinging lifestyle and believes that swinging relationships can last longer.

She is debunking myths about the alternative relationship style one video at a time and revealed her most memorable swinging experience to date – a 50-person mansion orgy.

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While Vista Wife, who is from the UK, publicly discusses her lifestyle with her husband – and even gives a glimpse on OnlyFans – for years, no one knew she was a swinger.

She told Tyla that she went into the lifestyle with a lot of misconceptions, including the belief that swinging is 'seedy' and only pursued by older couples.

"When I first started looking into the lifestyle, and when my husband mentioned swinging, and I was like, 'No, don't call us swingers. That is definitely not what I want to be called'," she said.

"But I think as we've gone through and experienced more and more, we've definitely seen that there is a whole wide variety of ages. And people.

"It's just for everyone. Especially now, more and more younger couples are wanting to experience and join the lifestyle."

An upside down pineapple is the swinging community's symbol. Credit: Instagram / mrsvistawife
An upside down pineapple is the swinging community's symbol. Credit: Instagram / mrsvistawife

Vista Wife has been a swinger for five years, but it wasn't until she and her husband met their first couple that she was willing to embrace the label.

"I didn't want to really put the label on swinging.

"[That] all changed the minute that we first met our first couple and kind of saw how many people are in the lifestyle."

Vista Wife believes swinging marriages can last longer. Credit: TikTok / @vista.wife
Vista Wife believes swinging marriages can last longer. Credit: TikTok / @vista.wife

One of Vista Wife's most controversial TikTok's came from her declaring that swinging marriages can be stronger – and last longer.

However, she acknowledges that 'swinging isn't for everyone' and that it won't solve your relationship problems.

"You have to be concrete, concrete in your relationship, marriage, whatever it is.

"You need to have an open line of communication to go into swinging."

She believes that it's this open line of communication is why she has met a lot of people who have 'been in marriages of relationships for a very long time' in the lifestyle.

The happily married swinger added that it can help improve a couple's sex life as swinging 'opens the door' to 'talking about your kinks and fetishes'.

"I think that maybe helps marriages or relationships because you're not afraid to try anything."

VistaWife says swinging can make couples even stronger. Credit: Instagram / mrsvistawife
VistaWife says swinging can make couples even stronger. Credit: Instagram / mrsvistawife

"My husband says it was kind of a bit like Wolf of Wall Street. We were all in black tie and evening gowns and things.

"All of a sudden in the bar loads of girls came down in their underwear started pouring cream on themselves and whipping each other.

"I was like, 'Okay, it's time, obviously, to get into the swing of things.'

"The mansion had three floors. The main floor was one big area, and I went upstairs at one point [and] 50 people were all in this big area just getting it on.

"It was surreal, and it was kind of a like 'We've like managed to pull this off!'"

VistaWife at the Mansion Party. Credit: Instagram / mrsvistawife
VistaWife at the Mansion Party. Credit: Instagram / mrsvistawife

However, the 'Swingtok' educator admitted that getting to the point of your first swinging experience can be a 'minefield.'

She explained that she and her husband's first foray into the lifestyle was through the website FabSwingers, where not everyone is who they seem.

"We've met some really amazing people on there," she said before advising anyone considering swinging to be wary if they start out online.

She's now created her own website to establish a safer, more transparent route into the lifestyle as a result.

She wasn't sure about the swinging label at first. Credit: Instagram / mrsvistawife
She wasn't sure about the swinging label at first. Credit: Instagram / mrsvistawife

Vista Wife's comments come after a recent survey by LoveHoney found that 27 percent of Brits said they would try an open relationship.

But the SwingTok educator said that both members of a couple need to be completely on board before they try swinging.

"You both need to be 100 percent sure about it," she advised.

"You need to have hundreds of conversations before you even step foot on to a swingers website or into a club.

"I think you both have to have your boundaries set and make sure you're both 100 percent comfortable with what is going to happen."

She added that for some couples, swinging might only be a fantasy.

Vista Wife is an OnlyFans creator and said that she has many couples sign up to her platform as a way to experience the lifestyle.

"They're dipping their toes in to watch my videos together and things like that, rather than going the full hog. And maybe that's their comfort zone."

Despite being a public swinger now, VistaWife kept it a secret for years. Credit: Instagram / mrsvistawife
Despite being a public swinger now, VistaWife kept it a secret for years. Credit: Instagram / mrsvistawife

However, Vista Wife said she and her husband are emotionally monogamous and have never considered polyamory.

For them, swinging is an 'added bonus to our sex life' and the people they meet in the lifestyle are 'just friends'.

But she did advise any couples who might find themselves opening up their relationships to have repeat conversations about the dynamic itself.

She suggested asking things like: "'Are you still happy with that? Would you like to explore something else?'

"I might have said no a couple of months ago to something which then pops up and I sit and think, 'Oh, I really want to try that'."

Vista Wife advocates for regular STI testing. Credit: Instagram / mrsvistawife
Vista Wife advocates for regular STI testing. Credit: Instagram / mrsvistawife

Swinging is for many people a secret, and Vista Wife acknowledges that the lifestyle is still largely stigmatised.

She said that most people are 'very discreet'.

"If you wanted to keep it discreet, you can, and we managed to keep it discreet for three years. Nobody knew," she said.

She said there is an unspoken rule of mutual respect within the community and advised that if you see someone you know in a vanilla setting, the protocol is to respect them the way you want to be respected.

Vista Wife is ultimately hoping that, in time, the lifestyle will be destigmatised and 'won't be seen as such a taboo subject.'

Topics: Sex and Relationships

Emma Guinness
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