Relationship experts says putting your husband first is key to making marriages last

The idea of putting someone's needs ahead of your own in order to keep your marriage going might be considered a little bit controversial.

However, it seems that authors and dating coaches, Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, are no strangers to this.

Back in 1995, they published 'The Rules: Time-tested Secrets For Capturing The Heart Of Mr. Right', which very much divided opinion.

It pretty much promoted the idea of making men do all the work and what you should do to land the perfect man, like being 'neat and clean'.

But the book ended up becoming a huge phenomenon.

'Don't meet him halfway or go Dutch on a date,' was one of its most famous rules, and it was even referenced on the likes of Sex And The City and Oprah.

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And now, Sherrie and Ellen, are back with a bang and have released a new book, titled 'The Rules Handbook', which suggests letting the husband, aka 'the decision-maker', take the lead.

Women, and men, prepare to be rattled.

One section of the book reads: "When you come home from work where you have a fancy title like senior VP of corporate marketing and investor relations and run a staff of 50 people, switch from masculine to feminine mode.

"Set the table and cook dinner, and ask him nicely to help clean up!"

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It continues: "Just like dating isn't 100 per cent equal (the guy has to pursue you and propose), marriage isn't always either.

"[You must] both agree your husband/partner is the decision maker and you are his key supportive team member... even if you make more money.

"That's because romantic relationships are based on biology, not finance. There's a hierarchy that goes back to caveman days.

"If you act too bossy or overbearing, you will emasculate your husband and your marriage will suffer, so let him take the lead role."

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Although this approach is something that would certainly divide a crowd in 2023, Sherry revealed what the thought process was behind the advice.

"We're making it like he's the senior partner and you're the junior partner," she said.

"Sometimes, you'll be senior like if it's a kids' issue, or if you're better with money or better with organising.

"But we're saying, in general, men are born leaders.

"This is biological. It's based on our experience and that of our clients, and biology states that men are born to lead and women are more the nurturers, even though they're in powerful positions in their work life."

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Books

Anish Vij

Anish has an MA in Multimedia Journalism and is passionate about delivering sarcastic/mildly amusing content. After studying business at undergrad, Anish realised that he’d much prefer getting paid to rant about a topic, rather than to find a solution to it. Apart from that, he loves the ‘Four F’s’, as he calls it - family, friends, football and food. Email: [email protected]

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