'Kittenfishing' is the toxic new dating trend that's nearly as bad as 'catfishing'
It seems like there's a new dating trend cropping up every week nowadays.
We already know all about 'Shrekking', 'wildflowering' and 'puffer-fishing' but the latest one to add to our dating lingo dictionaries is none other than 'kittenfishing', which is nearly as bad as 'catfishing'.
Now, for anyone who needs their social media slang brushing up, catfishing usually involves someone setting up a fake online identity to deceive someone, usually on dating apps or social media.
Perpetrators, called catfish, usually steal photos or use AI-generated images to create elaborate, misleading personas, often with the intent to scam people out of money, blackmail them, or catfish them for emotional validation.
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Now, odds are, if you're currently dating, you may have stretched the truth a tad here and there.
Like its more extreme cousin, catfishing, kittenfishing is when someone tells small lies on a dating app or during the early stages of dating to appear more attractive.
That may mean adding an inch or two to your height, shaving a few years off your age or using old or heavily edited photos.
Unlike catfishing, you're not creating a completely fake identity - but you're not being fully honest either.
"Kittenfishing is the PG version of catfishing," Amy Chan, a dating coach and the author of Unsingle: How to Date Smarter and Create Love that Lasts, told USA Today. "This actually happened to me personally.
"I matched with a guy who listed Harvard on their profile, but after a few dates, it became clear they didn’t actually graduate from Harvard. They took a course there."
Why do people kittenfish?
Dating apps have been likened to an online marketplace, and the scene can be super competitive.
So, in order to stand out, some people feel heaps of pressure to enhance the truth about themselves just to get noticed.
"Honestly, it usually comes from an insecure place, not a malicious one," Chan says. "I've had clients tell me they fudge their age or height just to cut through the noise. Their logic: Once we actually meet, the superficial stuff won't matter. The problem is, most people feel deceived when the person in front of them doesn't match the profile. Starting things off with a small deception, however innocent it feels, erodes trust before you've even had a chance to build it."
However, even when the intention is harmless, kittenfishing rarely leads to a successful outcome.
"If you are kittenfishing too hard, you are going to set yourself up for disappointment, because when you actually meet the person, you will not be what they expected," says Damona Hoffman, a dating coach and the author of F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story. "We're not chasing likes in dating. We're actually fostering connection."
How to avoid kittenfishing?
Instead of exaggerating details, focus on creating a profile that tells a story about who you are beyond surface-level traits.
"I will never add a filter to a client's photo when we're working on a profile," Hoffman says. "You want to show the best version of yourself, but that doesn't mean altering your image in any way. So instead, that means choosing pictures that tell a story about who you are, where your personality comes through, and you're really not trying to be the picture-perfect version of yourself if your ultimate goal is actually to connect with someone and have them like you back."
Chan suggests treating each photo on your profile as an opportunity to reveal a different side of your personality. The first photo should be a clear headshot. The second should show your full body.
After that, every image should give someone a reason to learn more about you.
"Think about it like giving someone a hook to start a conversation," she says. "A big mistake I see is when people just post glamour shot after glamour shot. We get it, you’re pretty. What else is there?"
Topics: Dating trends, Dating, Life, Sex and Relationships
Rhiannon Ingle