Relationship experts break down the 'bedroom LARPing' trend and why it's raising concerns

There's a new bedroom trend doing the rounds online, and it's all about performing a version of sexuality that's shaped by pornography to attract male attention.

Coined by Tyla as 'bedroom LARPing' - AKA bedroom Live Action Role Playing - the trend effectively describes young women dressing, behaving and even having sex in ways they believe men find desirable, often at the expense of their own wants.

The trend suggests a major cultural shift as rather than feeling threatened by porn, some young women are now trying to emulate it, treating porn as a blueprint for what sex, desirability and relationships should look like.

But these ideas don't just come from explicit content, as reality TV, social media and streaming shows are helping reinforce the same scripts.

Psychology Today singles out Love Island USA as a key example, with challenges that reward contestants for performing exaggerated, highly sexualised versions of themselves in front of an audience.

Experts have issued an important warning over the alarming 'bedroom LARPing' trend (Getty Stock Images)

From the Heart Rate Challenge to flirty role-play tasks, the article suggests the show turns desirability into a competition, where confidence, sex appeal and male approval are rewarded with votes, followers and a place in the villa.

This helps normalise behaviours that were once associated with pornography by packaging them as mainstream entertainment.

This kind of constant exposure is also changing expectations, as watching hours of highly curated, sexualised content every week can make these behaviours feel increasingly normal, particularly for younger viewers who are still forming ideas about relationships and intimacy.

Ultimately, 'bedroom LARPING' doesn't just affect women, but the pressure seemingly falls the hardest on them.

Tyla has since spoken about the controversial bedroom trend with two experts in the field, who warn that performing an idealised, porn-influenced version of yourself can make authentic relationships harder to build, calling for more conversations about media literacy before these scripts become the norm.

"Great intimacy isn't about putting on a show; it's about connection!" (Getty Stock Images)

What are the dangers of bedroom LARPing?

Cat, Head of Creative, Community and Education at female-founded ethical porn platform Ersties, exclusively told Tyla: "Bedroom LARPing highlights how easy it is to confuse confidence with performance.

"The irony is that the more people focus on looking like they're good at sex, the harder it can become to actually enjoy it! Great intimacy isn't about putting on a show; it's about connection, communication and feeling comfortable enough to be yourself."

She continued: "The rise of trends like this reflects a broader pressure, fuelled by social media, to treat every aspect of our lives as something to optimise, and sex hasn't escaped that mindset. "While there's nothing wrong with wanting to learn more about your body or become a more attentive partner, chasing an idealised version of sexual performance often creates more anxiety than satisfaction.

"Confidence in the bedroom doesn't come from trying to be perfect; instead it comes from feeling accepted, communicating openly and understanding what brings you and your partner pleasure."

The expert stated that porn can 'absolutely be a positive part of someone's sex life', adding: "It can inspire, educate and help people explore their desires, but like any form of entertainment, it's important to remember that it's still a performance."

Cat concluded: "I think sex is really about communication, trust, mutual pleasure and permitting yourself to discover what feels right for you and your partner. The most memorable intimate experiences aren't the ones that look the most impressive; they're the ones where both people feel seen, respected and free to enjoy themselves."

"Consent isn't just asking once and getting a 'yes'. It's ongoing. It can be withdrawn at any time." (Getty Stock Images)

'Confidence in the bedroom doesn't come from trying to be perfect; instead it comes from feeling accepted'

Meanwhile, somatic sexologist and relationship coach Kimberly Anne of Lustery, the only platform dedicated to real-life couples, echoed: "Until we start seeing the inclusion of pleasure-based sex education as the norm, sex-positive media will continue to be de facto sex education.

"As a somatic sexologist, I welcome the sex positive nature of these reality TV shows as they’re more open to discussing sex than previous generations of reality TV. Without comprehensive sex education, many people are left learning about sex by either doing or watching."

The sexpert continued: "Considering sex is one of the most vulnerable acts humans do on a somewhat daily basis, both of these approaches leave room for error, especially for women.

"I won’t lie, this year’s season of Love Island USA gave me the ick, not because of their discussions around sex or that the contestants were kissing, but because to empower young women watching this show, one important piece of intimate interaction is missing: consent.

'Many people are left learning about sex by either doing or watching'

"While the world witnessed a huge shift in consent conversations during the 2017 #MeToo movement, where a multitude of countries passed laws to affirm 'yes means yes' and 'no means no', the continued lack of conversation around pleasure-based sex education left women with the pressure of having to not only be able to know their sexual boundaries, but be able to communicate them as well."

Kimberly rounded off: "But unless we teach people how to explore their sexuality safely, how do they know what they like to use their 'yes' or their 'no' correctly? Do they even know what they’re saying yes or no to?

"Consent isn't just asking once and getting a 'yes'. It's ongoing. It can be withdrawn at any time.

"If we’re going to continue to rely on television to be our source of knowledge on sex and relationships, then these shows have an obligation to do more than fill our lives with sexy drama; it’s important that they also include discussions on boundaries and consent."

Tyla has reached out to Love Island USA for comment.