Expert shares the seven things men are judging about you in bed
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It's cuffing season, and couples and singletons alike have been getting frisky under the sheets to bring on the festive season in style.
Now, many of us may be wondering just what on earth goes through our partners' heads when we're doing the rumpy pumpy.
Up first on Tracey Cox's list of what your partner will notice are 'your imperfections'.
"That big, red pimple on your bum. Cellulite on your thighs. A roll of fat on your tummy. Shock horror! Yes, he may notice you aren’t perfect in every way. Does he care? Depends," she writes.
The sexpert says the bloke 'couldn't care less' if it's just casual sex and if he’s in a committed relationship and loves you, he will accept your so called 'flaws' because he has them, too.
She adds: "It's when a relationship is new and he’s undecided that all imperfections are not just paid attention to but scrutinised.
"We all make a balance sheet – conscious or unconscious – to decide whether a relationship has legs. What’s important to one, may not be to another: our partner wish lists are intensely personal."
Second on the rundown is 'how you deal with pubic hair'.
Tracey explains: "Pubic hair has a purpose.
"It helps regulate body temperature, stops dirt and debris from getting to places it shouldn’t, and also traps moisture, keeping the vulva skin hydrated.
"Having said that, we’ve been removing our pubic hair since ancient Rome times and it’s unlikely to stop anytime soon.
"If you’re trimmed and tidy, I doubt anything will be said and all will be accepted. If you’re at either extreme, it might well be something that’s raised later in your relationship (and completely up to you how you respond)."
Next on Tracey's list is 'how body conscious you are'.
She says: "The biggest gift you can bestow on a lover is to be comfortable and happy in your skin. Women who like their bodies are more active in sex, have more orgasms, initiate sex more and are more comfortable discussing sex with their partner.
"If you’re ashamed of your body and think it’s ugly, why would you want anyone looking at it or touching it?
"Spend every sex session insisting on total darkness, hiding under the covers, and cringing if he puts his hands on a part of you that you’re self-conscious about and, yes, your partner will clock that you’re wrestling with body image issues."
We're now halfway through with the fourth point being all about 'that signature sex move'.
"It’s great to have a signature sex move: something you know you’re great at and have been given many compliments on," Tracey reveals. "Whether he’ll admit to just how good you are depends entirely on his own sexual confidence and experience."
The fifth thing men apparently judge you on in bed is 'how active you are during sex'.
The sexpert says sexual laziness can become 'unmistakably apparent' in the sack.
"Most men will put up with you lying back and thinking of England for about four to five sessions, assuming it’s because you’re shy," she goes on.
"Once it becomes obvious you have no intention of reciprocating anything, ever, he’s got no choice but to call you on it."
Tracey's sixth things on the rundown is 'how aroused you are', explaining: "Men most certainly notice if you are lubricated during sex because it can make penetration difficult or uncomfortable if the vagina is dry.
"Some men take this as an insult. Woefully uninformed about what does and doesn’t make women’s vaginas lubricate, they feel threatened if their lovemaking skills don’t get the desire effect."
She continued: "I repeat: inefficient arousal techniques are a big part of the problem and this type of man doesn’t tend to tick the 'good lover' box.
"Any man who has been in a long-term, loving, healthy relationship with a woman will know all of this. He’ll either discreetly use his own saliva to compensate, give you fabulous oral sex to arouse you further, or ask if you have any lube handy because he’d hate sex to feel uncomfortable for you."
And the final thing on Tracey's list is 'what your vagina feels like'.
She writes: "We’ve all heard comments like 'She’s tight' or 'She’s loose' being thrown about.
"The reality is, how you feel to him during penetration has as much to do with his penis as it does the tightness of your vaginal canal.
"If you’re on the large side and he’s on the small side, you will feel ‘loose’ to him. Put you with a well-endowed man, however, and you’ll feel completely the opposite."
The sexpert noted: "You might get to hear how great it feels to be inside you but no (sane) man is going to tell you he doesn’t like how your vagina feels because it implicates him as well.
"And because even if there is a mismatch, intercourse still feels damn good."
Well, there you have it.