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How to tell if your partner is ‘roaching’ you after Gen Z issued warning on latest dating trend

Home> Life> Sex & Relationships

Published 12:14 13 Feb 2025 GMT

How to tell if your partner is ‘roaching’ you after Gen Z issued warning on latest dating trend

There are a number of signs associated with the dreaded dating trend

Rhiannon Ingle

Rhiannon Ingle

Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Dating, Dating trends, Life, Advice, Gen Z

Rhiannon Ingle
Rhiannon Ingle

Rhiannon Ingle is a Senior Journalist at Tyla, specialising in TV, film, travel, and culture. A graduate of the University of Manchester with a degree in English Literature, she honed her editorial skills as the Lifestyle Editor of The Mancunian, the UK’s largest student newspaper. With a keen eye for storytelling, Rhiannon brings fresh perspectives to her writing, blending critical insight with an engaging style. Her work captures the intersection of entertainment and real-world experiences.

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With Valentine's Day this week, it's clear many couples across the world will be enjoying the romantic holidays and all the perks that come with it.

Though unfortunately for some, it may not all be sunshine and rainbows as, instead of having a Prince Charming, they'll be putting up with what is referred to in a the dating world as a 'cockroach'.

And getting 'roached' is apparently way more common than you'd think, with a relationships expert now issuing a warning on the latest dating trend to take over Gen Z.

Could you be a victim of the 'roaching' apocalypse? (MementoJpeg / Getty Images)
Could you be a victim of the 'roaching' apocalypse? (MementoJpeg / Getty Images)

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The name comes from the idea of when you see one cockroach scuttling around, it usually means there is an infestation following behind.

And you can probably work out that 'roaching' is a similar concept.

It is where a partner decides to be dishonest, and hides the fact they are seeing you alongside multiple other people while you're still dating.

As per the NY Post, Exclusive Matchmaking CEO Susan Trombetti said roaching is: "Inspired by the ickiness of seeing one of these nasty little bugs - but knowing when you turn the lights on, there are lots of them."

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Now while some of you might be thinking 'just call it cheating?' - technically if you and your potential partner haven’t had the exclusivity chat, you’re well within your right to date more than one person.

It’s just not exactly nice.

And according to Forbes, there are a few telltale signs you can look out for...

There are a number of tell-tale signs you're getting 'roached' (Catherine Falls Commercial / Getty Images)
There are a number of tell-tale signs you're getting 'roached' (Catherine Falls Commercial / Getty Images)

Secretive behaviour

If the person you're dating is particularly secretive about aspects of their personal life, it could be a sign of 'roaching'.

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This is especially regarding their potential romantic interests, it's important to keep an eye on cagey behaviour!

Lack of commitment

This is a red flag in any relationship, but a partner leaving you uncertain about where you stand is not fair.

This could be a sign of being 'roached', because they can't choose to commit to you exclusively, thus leave you in a 'state of uncertainty'.

Inconsistent communication

If the person you're dating disappears for abnormal amounts of time, and comes back with a flaky, half-hearted excuse afterwards, it could be time to call it quits.

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Beware of hidden red flags... (Oleg Breslavtsev / Getty Images)
Beware of hidden red flags... (Oleg Breslavtsev / Getty Images)

Unexplained changes in plans

Could their 'side ting' have just called for them to come round? You'll literally never know if they're being completely genuine.

Of course, sometimes plans change last minute, but when this becomes a habit, it could be time to re-think your situation.

Mixed signals

If you feel like you're being left hanging constantly, or they tell you one thing and do another, you could be a victim of 'roaching'.

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In addition, senior therapist Sally Baker told Metro that you should look for ‘giveaways in body language’.

“Most people are uncomfortable telling lies so they will subconsciously give clues either verbally or physically that they’re not being transparent or completely honest,” she explained.

Sally explained that it’s hardly worth requesting exclusivity from a partner if one of you is maintaining a secret social life anyway, so you might have had a lucky escape after all!

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