Why every singleton needs to be wary of toxic 'paperclipping' dating trend
There's a dreaded new romance term that we need to add to our modern-day dating dictionaries - 'paperclipping'.
According to a whole batch of relationship experts, however, this concept isn't as cute as its name implies, and is actually something that singletons need to be avoiding at all costs.
As we say, there's no shortage of hip and trendy, social media-influenced terms that are currently being used to describe 'love'.
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Earlier this week, some lonely hearts were told to keep their eyes peeled for 'pink flags' in a potential partner, and just days earlier, 'vabbing' hit the headlines after some daters claimed the controversial trend helped them to attract a partner.
'Tinder-Dona' was named as the latest dating trend to have a pretty impressive track record, and 'frozen images' were found to be affecting relationships all over the world.
As mentioned, it's now the turn of 'paperclipping' to have single pringles panicking, after some dating gurus have issued a pretty stern warning about it in recent weeks - especially 'cuffing season' soon kicks off.
What is 'paperclipping'?
This toxic trend basically sees former flames, ex-lovers and - to be frank - relationship regrets suddenly re-emerging in your life.
As opposed to putting on a grand gesture in the hope of winning you back over after weeks, months or even years of no contact, however, they'll subtly check back in via the likes of text or social media, as if to remind you, 'Hey, I still exist'.
At this point, it's unclear what they want.
To get back to together? A one-night stand? A late-night sexting session? Or in some rare cases, to genuinely just check that you're doing well.
Whatever the circumstances, though, there's one thing for certain - being 'paperclipped' is definitely going to throw you off your game.
And as such, singletons need to be aware of the harmful trend.
What do experts say about it?
The controversial dating trend has been interpreted different by countless relationship experts, with many disagreeing on the severity of the act.
According to Dr Wendy Walsh (PhD) - relationship expert at DatingNews and DatingAdvice - the perpetrators of 'paperclipping' can sometimes reach out as as a means of 'maintaining contact with someone you might need in the future'.
The dating pro told Cosmopolitan: "It often feels like the person who reached out just wants to know you’re there and that you’ll respond, but they don’t actually want to get on the phone or see you in person. It can feel very confusing."
Bumble's resident 'sexpert' Shan Boodram says it can actually become really dangerous for some singletons, especially when deep-set emotions are played on.
"Paperclipping can serve as harmless flirting that makes someone feel like they still got it—and sometimes that feeling is enough," she explained.
"But when the ‘it’ is something that’s not meant to be toyed with (think: devotion, desire for a deeper connection, the power to ask you to drop everything), then we’ve got a problem."
Why is it called that?
Gen Z readers are likely to be left utterly baffled by my next question, but, does anyone remember 'Clippy'?
That's right, the eerie-looking paperclip symbol that would sporadically pop open when you were using Microsoft Office in the Noughties.
He'd send messages starting with, 'Hey, just checking in...', or 'Hey, do you need any help?', before suddenly vanishing again as mysteriously as he first appeared.
Well, 'paperclipping' apparently comes from this...
How to protect yourself from being 'paperclipped'
To put it bluntly, do not respond to their initial message.
I know this might seem impossible - you may still have feelings for them, or you could start to feel worried about the random timing of their message - but if your ex is messaging about anything genuinely important, they'll explain that in the first instance, and won't leave you wondering what their plan is.
You need to set boundaries on how you're going to allow yourself to be treated, and though it may sound severe, keeping communication cut is a good place to start.
Self-preservation is all about disallowing someone to mess with the complexities of your heart.
If they really cared, they'd show it with more than a 'long time no speak' text.
Topics: Sex and Relationships
Rhianna Benson