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Man says he can't sleep with wife anymore as she refuses to shower before bed

Britt Jones

Published 
| Last updated 

Man says he can't sleep with wife anymore as she refuses to shower before bed

Featured Image Credit: Fiordaliso/Eric O'Connell/Getty Images

Hygiene is often something that tops the list in terms of what you expect from a partner.

But one man has given food for thought on the internet when he stated his solution to his wife’s cleanliness.

After feeling as though his woes regarding her washing practices weren’t being taken seriously, he decided to post on the popular platform Reddit under the AITA (Am I The A**hole) category.

A husband was uneasy with sharing the bed with his wife after her shifts. Credit: Pixabay
A husband was uneasy with sharing the bed with his wife after her shifts. Credit: Pixabay
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The husband went on to share how uncomfortable it was sharing a bed with his wife, who he states doesn’t shower after coming home from work.

Though he is proud that she is a gynaecologist, he finds the thought 'bodily fluids' in the bed too gross and opts to sleep on the sofa instead of with her.

The Reddit user, called abovetherestaurant, wrote: "I've asked her to take a shower before coming to bed, but she thinks it's unnecessary and feels like I'm being unreasonable.

"She argues that she wears gloves and takes precautions to avoid any contamination, and that her scrubs are changed regularly.

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"However, I still feel uneasy about the potential exposure to bodily fluids, and I don't think it's an unreasonable request for her to take a quick shower before bed.

"Since my wife doesn't want to shower before bed, I have been sleeping on the couch in the living room instead."

According to the man, his wife doesn’t get why he’s so uncomfortable with her refusal to shower.

He continued: "My wife thinks I'm overreacting and being ridiculous by sleeping on the couch, but I don't want to compromise my comfort and health.

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"Am I the a**hole for choosing to sleep on the couch when my wife comes home from work without showering?"

Of course, Reddit users were divided over the situation and gave different opinions on how he should approach this issue.

A Reddit user complained that his wife wouldn't shower before getting into bed. Credit: Pixabay
A Reddit user complained that his wife wouldn't shower before getting into bed. Credit: Pixabay

Someone who agrees with him wrote: "NTA [Not the a**hole]. My mother was a L&D [labour and delivery] nurse for almost 30 years and in hemodialysis for over 10........ the FIRST thing she did was take a shower when she got home.

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"EVERY DAY SHE WORKED. This is with all the precautions of gloves, masks, Haz-mat suits, shoe booties, etc.

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with a quick shower after coming home. And nothing wrong with staying away from someone until they do.

"You were free to ask and she was free to say no....... while accepting the consequences of refusing. You sleep on a lumpy couch and she sleeps alone."

A nurse also agreed that the conditions of a hospital were gross: "I spent a dozen years as a L & D nurse and the next dozen years working in the ER. I always took a shower first thing when I got home. I don't care how many precautions I took at work. I just felt germy!!!!

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"Hospitals are gross places!!!"

However, not everyone was on the same page.

Would you sleep in bed with her? Credit: Shutterstock
Would you sleep in bed with her? Credit: Shutterstock

One commenter wrote: "My guy, do you know the precautions they take? She's not getting fluid on herself and just leaving it there, you are basically calling her unsanitary when she's probably cleaner than you are."

Another commented: "Your wife sees multiple patients a day. If this was any threat to you she'd have to shower between patients. I bet she doesn't have to do that. Of course she gloves up and wears whatever gear is necessary to not bring 'fluids' home."

Despite the split opinions, the man was very happy with the feedback he received.


He wrote in an update: "Thanks for all your replies! Reddit seems divided.

"While a lot of you judge my request reasonable and the hospital environment unsanitary, I realise my health didn't change before and after my initiative to sleep on the couch.

"I may overestimate the hazard that her not showering represents. I will try to find a compromise with her."

Topics: Health, Reddit, Sex and Relationships, Social media, Pregnancy, NHS

Britt Jones
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