Parents refuse to let daughter believe in Santa or the tooth fairy so they don’t ‘gaslight’ her
They insist they won't lie to their daughter but do let her 'pretend' he's real
While we can all agree that honesty is the best policy, most of us think it’s pretty harmless to allow our little ones to believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy - but these parents refuse to ‘lie’ to their daughter and claim that telling her such things exist is ‘gaslighting’.
You can see them talk about it here:
Mathew Bourdreaux, 46, and spouse, Aurelian, 44, say they aren’t ‘taking away any magic’ by telling nine-year-old Helena the truth.
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The parents say rather than tell their daughter that Santa or the tooth fairy is real, they ask if she wants to play ‘make believe’ and pretend they’re real - but she knows that they’re not and that her folks are just playing along.
Mathew, a crafter, from Camas, Washington, USA, said: “Parents don’t need to tell any of their kids Santa or the tooth fairy is real - why would I participate in this large scale global gaslighting?
"Before adopting our child, we researched parenting and thought of the potential psychological impact lying could have.
“We decided we would never deceive her – parents don’t need to tell any of their kids this is real.
"It has normalised group lying and deception, it doesn't need to be a part of society.”
Mathew says when she was very young, his daughter didn’t know about Santa but began to ask questions when she was three.
The parents instead opted to tell Helena that Santa wasn’t real but that she could pretend he was if she wanted too.
"It wasn't a sit down conversation, she started to ask questions and have an awareness of him,” Mathew explained.
"She asked who he was and it's at this point most parents say he's real- we decided not to.
“From my perspective, we’re having a blast pretending.
“The magic never ends and pretend never ends we decorate the house with homemade decorations, make cookies, exchange presents, get up super early and spend quality time together as a family.”
Mathew also believes that by telling Helena to pretend they’re helping her be more creative.
He added: "We train children not to 'imagine' and by playing make-believe we can encourage them to use their imagination and creativity.
“There is a morality in lying and not lying - the second choice is the right choice.
“I’m not taking away any magic - I didn’t create this mess.”
Claire Reid