You can name a cockroach after your ex for Valentine's Day and feed it to an animal
Who said romance was dead, eh?
Valentine's Day is just around the corner, so you may want to start making plans - be it organising a romantic table for two, or planning to let the occasion pass by as though it's just another Tuesday.
Of course, how you choose to spend the day will be heavily impacted by your current love life situation; if your head over heels in love you might want to really push the boat out, whereas if you've recently broken up, you might want to name a cockroach after your ex and watch it get eaten alive.
In the former instance, you're gonna want to call a fancy restaurant and make a reservation, in the latter, you need to get in touch with San Antonio Zoo.
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The Texas Zoo is offering people the chance to get a little revenge on a former flame, and better still, you don't have to feel bad about it, because it's all to raise money to help animals at the zoo and further afield.
The 'Cry Me a Cockroach' fundraiser sees people pledge a donation, and in return, a cockroach can be named after their ex, before being fed to one of the animals.
Donors will receive a digital Valentine's Day card acknowledging their support, while the ex can also be sent a digital card informing them of their devoured cockroach namesake.
The zoo asks for a $10 (£8) donation for this alternative Valentine's service, while a veggie can be named after an ex for $5 (£4). And if you're feeling extra vengeful/charitable, you can name a rat for $25 (£20).
The website states: "San Antonio Zoo hosts its Cry Me a Cockroach Fundraiser, where funds raised support the zoo's vision of securing a future for wildlife in Texas and around the world!
"This Valentine's, join in the fun by donating to symbolically name a cockroach, rodent, or veggie after your not-so-special someone!"
And if none of the above sounds like quite enough for you, then there's always the $150 (£121) upgrade option.
"Did your ex-partner, boss, or bestie really make 2022 difficult?" the site reads.
"Upgrade your donation to our personalised option, and we'll create an individualised video message of your cockroach, rodent, or veggie being fed to one of our animals for you to send to your not-so-special someone.
"Let's keep it PG-13 of course! Keep in mind, this option will sell out fast and is limited to 20 purchases."
Last year, the most popular names were Jacob and Sarah, but you can get adding your ex to this year's roach pile here.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Animals, Valentines Day
Jake Massey