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Cuffing season is upon us and the world of dating is becoming even more treacherous. While you might have been lucky enough to bag someone this season to cosy up with, you might have started noticing some red flags.
A common pattern happening in modern relationships is the trend 'pocketing'. This is where you are essentially put in your partner's 'pocket' and they make the effort to keep you away from the eyes of the world, usually by avoiding introducing you to their family and friends.
If you're wondering whether this is what's happening to you, Tyla spoke to Alex Mellor-Brook, relationships expert and co-founder of Select Personal Introductions, about what pocketing is and how to spot if it's happening to you.
Alex explains that 'tis the season for you to find yourself in someone's back pocket: "Pocketing is one of those trends that becomes more prominent at Christmas. It’s the time of year when we expect to get invited to meet our new other half’s friends and family, those closest to your new date, except you aren't."
So what does it mean if you're wondering why you haven't been meeting your partner's loved ones?
"If this happens, it means you’ve been pocketed and you only get brought out when they want or need your company – they aren’t going to make you a full part of their life," Alex spells out.
• You don’t get to meet their friends and family and they aren’t interested in yours.
• They don’t invite you to work events even though you know they’re attending themselves.
• You don’t meet at their home, ever.
However, Alex gives a warning that being pocketed might not be the signal to bail: "It could be a sign that your partner is cautious due to past relationship experiences and they don’t want to take risks with intimacy, so it’s not always a wholly negative behaviour."
That being said, Alex still thinks it's worth considering the red flag: "But, if your new love interest doesn’t start to warm to you after a couple of months, it’s probably time to consider if they really are interested in a long-term relationship."
So, be careful out there this cuffing season and remember that no one should make you feel pocketed in your own relationship.
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