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Topics: Sex and Relationships, Hacks
Rhianna Benson
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Hacks
If you've set your heart on finding romance and falling in love this new year, apparently, you've been dating all wrong...
That's right - it turns out that manifesting your dream man or pinning your hopes on finding your soulmate could actually be doing more harm than good.
That's why a whole bunch of sex and relationship experts are introducing a brand new method of finding love to 2024, known as NATO dating.
This novel approach to romance sees hopeless romantics focussing more on the experience of dating, rather than the outcome of the dates themselves.
So, apparently, instead of spending your coffee-shop meet-up wondering what your kids would look like, or your night at the pub questioning whether or not your date will get on with your mum, you should be relishing in your singleness.
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According to Tinder's annual 'Year In Swipe' report, lonely-hearts are just that because they're putting too much pressure on the idea of finding a connection, instead of simply getting to know and spending time with the person sitting opposite you.
Now, Mark Travers a dating psychologist at Forbes, says that approaching dating with this mindset is actually super healthy.
This is because it does not dismiss the prospect of a long-term love affair and instead, takes every chapter between the two of you as they come.
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NATO dating will also see the romantic themself become more and more in tune their their own emotions, involves them taking breaks from love when required, and frees them from the stress that comes with 'reaching' each uber-defined milestone of a relationship.
Another benefit of this style of dating is that it focuses on YOUR wellbeing, whether you're happily single or falling head over heels.
If sparks do fly on a date, that's great. If the firework fails to explode, however, that's great too, because the experience of the date itself is just another page to your ongoing book about love.
In turn, this type of dating also guarantees that all dating experience are viewed as meaningful in some way.
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Taking a step back from the question of whether or not the individual sitting in front of you is 'the One' can give you time to reassess exactly what you want in a partner, without putting too much pressure on any date.
If you do decide to pursue NATO dating this year, however, you must be mindful of not letting yourself become too distant from the aim of a date.
In fact, according to Mark, totally avoiding commitment of any kind, or putting a permanent pin in the idea of becoming emotionally intimate with someone, can be extremely damaging.
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That's because this could subsequently prevent you from putting a true effort into a date that could potentially blossom into a full-fledge love affair.
It's important to strike the perfect balance between distancing yourself from the outcome of a date and taking the time to genuinely asses your compatibility.
Good luck, guys and gals - that sounds easier said than done.