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Relationship expert reveals how to find your soulmate

Rhiannon Ingle

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| Last updated 

Relationship expert reveals how to find your soulmate

Featured Image Credit: Savannah Dematteo/Pexels/MBI/Alamy Stock Photo

Have you been asking yourself why you just can't seem to find Mr or Mrs Right?

Well, you're most definitely not alone.

With Valentine's Day looming, many singletons may be wondering exactly how to go about searching for their soulmate.

An expert shares just to go how about finding your soulmate. Credit: Ammentorp Photography / Alamy Stock Photo
An expert shares just to go how about finding your soulmate. Credit: Ammentorp Photography / Alamy Stock Photo
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With the advent of dating apps, situationships and a whole load of newly-coined terminology to be applied to the modern dating scene - it seems that singleness is on the rise.

From 'icks' to 'phubbing', there seems to be a phrase for just about anything when it comes to the world of romance nowadays.

But, the information people seem to be really lacking today is the method in which to go about finding a soulmate.

Getting the juicy information from an expert in all things dating, we've got the lowdown on what you need to do to find the perfect partner.

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We spoke to dating coach Hayley Quinn about the concept of soulmates and if they really do exist.

Turns out they most definitely do.

There's not just one potential soulmate out there for you. Credit: cottonbro studio/Pexels
There's not just one potential soulmate out there for you. Credit: cottonbro studio/Pexels

Kicking things off to a positive start, Hayley told Tyla that while a soulmate may be a partner you're 'truly connected' with, the good news is that there's not just one person out there in the world for you.

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Hayley says singletons should start their soulmate hunt from 'a space of abundance' - meaning a seeker should recognise that there are actually heaps of potential love interests out there who will have the necessary qualities you're looking for.

Keyword 'relationship' - not its vague and more annoying cousin 'situationship'.

Singletons should start their soulmate hunt from 'a space of abundance'. Credit: Andres Ayrton/Pexels
Singletons should start their soulmate hunt from 'a space of abundance'. Credit: Andres Ayrton/Pexels

So, you've got the correct mindset to start your search but what needs to be avoided at all costs when looking for a long-term partner?

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Hayley explains that high standards are a good thing but should be reserved for 'how people treat you', with some added flexibility on your more 'superficial standards'.

She says: "Whilst it's 'nice to have', being over 6 foot or having a six-figure salary, [they] aren't what makes a soulmate.

"Instead, you need to look out for a partner who is attuned to your needs, and as willing as you are to make this relationship work."

In short, bend a little on the surface stuff and keep the high standards for the real substance of a person.

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Speaking to you with the tick-box list for the perfect partner saved on your phone...

People should avoid getting sold on the potential of an 'unavailable partner'. Credit: Savannah Dematteo/Pexels
People should avoid getting sold on the potential of an 'unavailable partner'. Credit: Savannah Dematteo/Pexels

While certain negative dating archetypes have long since become normalised - think 'ghosting' or 'breadcrumbing' - Hayley clarifies that people need to 'avoid getting sold on the potential of an unavailable partner'.

"Give your time and energy to people who are on the same page as you with their relationship goals," she continues.

It can definitely be difficult when toeing the line between ultra-independence and hyper-clinginess, which is why Hayley explains just how people should navigate healthy boundaries alongside showing an open and honest vulnerability.

Addressing the power of a good old chat, Hayley explains that it's not so much about getting everything right the first time but more about listening to each other and taking certain advice or boundaries on board.

"You should feel that your communication flows easily," she adds.

Instead of constantly 'walking on eggshells' or putting on a 'front' around your beau, you should be able to be 'authentic' with them.

"You won't necessarily have a 'lightning bolt' moment of immediate connection." Credit: Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels
"You won't necessarily have a 'lightning bolt' moment of immediate connection." Credit: Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels

Once you've got your dating priorities straight, many can be left wondering if there are any set rules that can be generally applied to a budding relationship.

From communication frequency to theorising over whether there should be a set amount of 'time' that people should wait before reaching certain milestones within their relationships, it's clear many of us need some guidance.

"People take time to get to know each other," the dating coach says, "so when you meet your soulmate, you won't necessarily have a 'lightning bolt' moment of immediate connection."

It may not be the most romantic thing in the world but at least it's realistic.

In short, for any soulmate searcher out there, be prepared for the fact that your next relationship could be a slow burner.

"It's not a race to happily ever after." Credit: Michelle Leman/Pexels
"It's not a race to happily ever after." Credit: Michelle Leman/Pexels

In the era of social media stardom, influencer relationships and famous celebrity couplings, many can feel pressured to move quickly when it comes to relationships.

But, Hayley adds, people should move in (and out) of relationships on their 'own timeline'. She says: "It's not a race to happily ever after.

"If you're single today remember you're closer to finding your soulmate than you are when you're in the wrong relationship."

Therefore, if you do find yourself single this Valentine's Day, just remember that your single years are basically gold dust.

According to the dating coach, it's through those exact years of being single that 'ultimately shape' who you are as an individual.

So celebrate your achievements!

You're at the perfect place to be building a sense of who you really are which, in turn, will make it a whole lot easier to determine who might be the right person to join you on the exciting journey.

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Valentines Day, Life

Rhiannon Ingle
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