Whether you’ve been feeling like something is off or want to know what to look out for in your marriage, there are certain signs that can signify a divorce could be on the cards.
Of course, we know things don’t just stay rosy once you walk down the aisle and it’s normal to have rough patches, but what if it’s more than that?
For some, it can be a lot worse than a few weeks of moodiness, which could lead them to look back and recognise the signs that were clear as day which has led them to consider divorce.
According to Leo Tolstoy, who spoke to Metro: “What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility.”
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This means that to know how to fix something, you need to know what’s wrong in the first place.
James Brien is the founder of Easy Online Divorce and has written numerous times about marriage problems, which makes him a bit of an expert on the topic.
He’s shared the six red flags that signal you’re on the road to divorce, and with this new insight, you could mend your relationship before things get ugly.
Communication
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According to James, communication is one of the earliest stages of a marriage breakdown.
He shared: “If you’re no longer asking about each other’s days and listening to the responses, then consider why that might be the case.
“A solid marriage is built on being able to open up and talk things through.
"When this starts to slide, it’s a good idea to get things back on track quickly, as over time a lack of communication can mean you start to disconnect emotionally.”
Feeling the warmth slip away
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That welcoming feeling you once had when you came home from work is long gone, and now you’re walking on eggshells.
He explains: “If there was once mutual respect and now there’s sarcasm and eye rolls every time you talk, it might be time to discuss your problems with a counsellor.”
Having no support
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This could be emotional or domestic support that has been lacking lately.
Whether it’s helping you feel your best, supporting your goals or taking on their share of childcare and household work, support in a marriage is essential.
James said: “Couples need to feel as if their needs are being met.
“If you feel as if you’re picking up all of the chores while the other sits around doing nothing, then this is where resentment can seep in.”
Lack of intimacy
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This doesn’t necessarily have to mean sex, but those little intimate moments which make you feel close and connected to your partner.
James shared: “Holding hands and enjoying a cuddle on the sofa can be more intimate than other marital activities.
“There’s no ‘normal’ for being intimate in a relationship.”
He went on to say that ‘it’s important to speak to your partner about your needs and re-establish a connection.’
Stop making plans
James explained: “Happy couples will generally share aspirations for the future, whether this means big travel plans or retirement dreams.”
If not, you could find that you’re making plans without them and not seeing them in your future.
Dreaming about a new life
Remember when comedian Daniel Sloss broke up thousands of relationships after his Jigsaw special?
He asked the audience: Does the person you’re with really complete your life, or are you just scared of being alone?
Echoing similar sentiments, James said: “When problems arise in a marriage it can be tempting to look at other options.
“If you find yourself constantly thinking about what else might be on offer then that’s a strong sign things are going in the wrong direction.”
But, there is hope - you could go to marriage counselling, for instance, to help your relationship get back on track.
And hopefully now you know all the red flag signs to look out for, you can nip any issues in the bud.
Topics: Life, Sex and Relationships
Britt Jones