Therapist says you shouldn't hug your own children without asking permission
Lucy Devine
Featured Image Credit: SWNS
A therapist has said you shouldn't hug your own children without first asking for their consent.
Mum-of-two Jessica MacNair, 41, from Virginia, has shared a list of things she would never do with her kids on TikTok. You can watch the clip below:
Jessica has been a licensed therapist for 20 years and says following these steps creates 'secure attachment'.
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"In terms of parenting, there is so much conflicting information out there, I experienced that myself," she says.
"A lot of people follow and trust me and there are some first-time parents who might be trying to figure things out, I thought it might be helpful for them."
Discussing her 'hugging' advice, Jessica explained on TikTok: "For them to advocate for themselves and be an adult, they have to learn how to give consent.
"To model that from a young age is important, the older gen didn’t have that so they don’t realise you can say no.
"More often than not they do say yes, and that’s more meaningful. It can feel like an offensive rejection but I always remember they don’t owe you anything, and they have to be able to advocate for themselves even if it's not what you want."
In her video, Jessica explained she never talks about personal finances in front of her children, never places value on food and doesn't compare her children to each other.
She also advised not teaching kids to trust authority figures.
"I teach them that trust and respect is earned," she explained in the clip.
Jessica discussed the point further following comments on her video, with her explaining: "It's about not blindly following authority. My generation were taught to do that, but Gen Z do a good job of pushing back.
"People should pay attention to what they're hearing, and if it doesn’t sound right, don’t just trust the person.
"Everyone doesn’t know everything. Your teacher might be doing the best they can but they may not know everything.
"It depends on the situation but always question the premise - should you trust that particular person in that particular question?
"It goes back to basic thing of, if someone comes up in a van and says 'get in', don’t just trust them because they're an adult.
"Look at the situation and what they’re trying to achieve."
Following the videos, Jessica says she hopes some parents take something from her advice.
"People's responses were interesting to me," she says.
"They don't have to follow or agree with me, but some of the points I made are things I wish I had known before I had children.
"I hope some people might take something away from the videos."