Your partner could be ‘zip coding’ you without your knowledge

Dating trends are rife at the moment, but if you aren’t prepared for them, you might just get caught up in a toxic situation before you realise what’s happening.

From 'Shrekking' to breadcrumbing, ghosting, and dogfishing, dating trends are hard to keep up with at the best of times.

But there’s one you’re going to want to know about, as it could trap you in a long relationship that’s unhealthy and unsatisfying.

So, what is it? It’s ‘zip coding’.

Now, you’ve probably never heard of this, but it’s not a new occurrence in the dating pool. And if it’s your first time hearing about it, then perhaps you might want to keep reading on, as there are a few telltale signs to be on the lookout for.

Zip coding is the latest dating trend (juanma hache/ Getty Stock)

What is zip-coding?

Okay, so you might be confused about the name, but once it’s explained to you, you’ll understand why it’s spot on.

Essentially, zip-coding occurs when singles swipe and match with people via dating apps in a certain zip code. However, they then limit their relationship status to that area only.

But there's also another version where the relationship is entirely 'location-dependent', where you and your partner are only 'together' when you are in the same zip-code, and 'single' when outside of it (via Cosmopolitan).

What are the signs of being zip-coded?

If your beau is texting someone else, being secretive, turning their location off when they travel out of your area, getting defensive over seemingly normal questions about their plans or more, you may be dealing with a potential zip-coder.

They’ll be caught out eventually, but it’s hard to cope with the thought that someone is only exclusive with you when they’re in the same postcode.

Then, they’re free for all when they exit the area.

You could be zip-coded without realising it (Catherine Falls Commercial/ Getty Stock)

Why is it so toxic?

Zip-coding can be mega toxic if your partner considers themselves single when they go outside of your location, or if they don’t disclose to you that this is the arrangement they are looking for.

If both of you are up for a proximity-based relationship, then that’s fine. But if only one of you is acting on this while the other thinks you’re in a committed and loyal relationship, it’s not great.

Speaking more on what makes it so toxic, dating coach Amy Chan told USA Today: "We expect everything to be tailored, fast and frictionless, as if love should work like food delivery.

"But that approach can become narcissistic, focused on what’s easiest for us and what appeals to our egos, rather than what fosters real connection."

It can be toxic if either party isn't aware of the arrangement (SimpleImages/ Getty Stock)

Chan added: "When you make dating about convenience first and connection second, you’re filtering out people for reasons that don’t actually matter. It’s less about being open to love and more about being ruled by ego."

She described it as being 'connection without commitment, convenience over investment', especially in terms of those who only match with someone in their area for convenience.

She offered her own example, revealing that one of her clients had 'a strict 'downtown only' rule', but she eventually matched with someone who lived elsewhere.

Chan continued: "I encouraged her to go on the date, and she did. After a few dates, she was sharing how it was easy to talk to him, and there appeared to be a lot of alignment in values, but she was still stuck on the location thing.

"I told her to focus on the green flags instead of his ZIP code. Four years later, they’re still together. Oh, and guess what? She now lives in the suburbs with him."