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Woman admits she doesn't want to see date again because he didn't pay for dinner

Home> Life> Sex & Relationships

Published 14:08 4 Aug 2023 GMT+1

Woman admits she doesn't want to see date again because he didn't pay for dinner

People are debating whether it was 'red flag' behaviour

Rhiannon Ingle

Rhiannon Ingle

A woman has divided opinion after admitting she doesn't want to see her date again because he didn't pay for dinner.

Posting on the 'Am I Being Unreasonable' thread of Mumsnet, the woman began by explaining she 'met a guy online' and ended up meeting him for a first date which entailed a 'walk in the countryside near to where he lived'.

According to the woman, the bloke 'seemed a really nice guy with great interests and gorgeous dog' - all very important attributes.

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The woman has sparked debate over what counts as a 'red flag'.
Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels

The pair then stopped off at a nearby cafe and 'had sandwich lunch about £8 each, no alcohol or anything'.

"Very kindly," she wrote, "he offered to pay and I accepted."

The woman made sure to outline there was 'no kiss or anything like that' which followed the gesture.

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Now, onto the second date.

"He said he was going to be working near me and would I like to do something," she penned. "I offered to book a pub dinner near to where he would clock off."

She continued: "Again, it went well I thought, but conscious of seeing the prices on the menu I knew I wouldn’t want him to pay for me particularly as he had bought me the sandwich.

"At the end of the meal when he asked for the bill, I said 'You paid last time so I don’t want you paying again'."

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And this is where things seemed to go south.

Many dubbed the ordeal a 'red flag'.
Mumsnet/@HowNice23

The woman revealed: "He misconstrued this as me saying I would settle the whole thing (what I meant was we just had split it) and I guess I was so flummoxed that this had happened I just paid especially since the waitress was kind of hovering over us…

"I was embarrassed to talk about it. Bill was £110!"

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Big yikes - you could probably have about a dozen 'sandwich lunches' for that sum.

The woman then opened up the forum after wondering if the whole ordeal was a 'major red flag'.

"I don’t know him well enough to determine and honestly it’s put me off," she admitted. "I don’t think I want to meet up again."

"Yes I can afford it," the woman finished up, as I’ve worked really hard to build up my own business.

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"I didn’t tell about money at all and am not flashy but I did talk about what I do and maybe he just made an assumption?"

"Am I being unreasonable?" she concluded.

Over 700 people have since weighed in on the matter, many of which defended the woman.

One Mumsnet user declared: "He shouldn’t have accepted when there was a massive difference like that.

"He should’ve split or paid for all the drinks if you headed somewhere after the meal. Paying £8 v £110 when you’ve met someone twice is really cheeky!

Others, however, didn't see any issue.
Mumsnet/@donquixotedelamancha

"Even if he misunderstood your offer, he should have known that wasn’t a fair exchange."

A second agreed: "The polite thing for him to do given the discrepancy in cost would have been to say 'no - it's too much, let's go halves' as opposed to just letting you pony up over a hundred pounds!

"So I think it is a bit of a red flag, albeit it sounds like he misunderstood you. Definitely give him another chance though."

Others, however, didn't deem the fiasco a 'red flag' in the slightest.

"Of course it’s not a red flag," claimed one person. "It just so happened you went to a cheaper place for the first date and a more expensive place for the second. I’m sure he’s aware of this and will get it next time.

"You made it sound like you would pay."

A final Mumsnet user added: "Sounds like he was quite willing to pay but respectful of you offering. If you like him I think you'd be nut to bin him for that."

What do you make of it?

Featured Image Credit: d3sign/Getty / Oscar Wong/Getty

Topics: Real Life, Sex and Relationships

Rhiannon Ingle
Rhiannon Ingle

Rhiannon Ingle is a Senior Journalist at Tyla, specialising in TV, film, travel, and culture. A graduate of the University of Manchester with a degree in English Literature, she honed her editorial skills as the Lifestyle Editor of The Mancunian, the UK’s largest student newspaper. With a keen eye for storytelling, Rhiannon brings fresh perspectives to her writing, blending critical insight with an engaging style. Her work captures the intersection of entertainment and real-world experiences.

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