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Woman admits she doesn't want to see date again because he didn't pay for dinner

Woman admits she doesn't want to see date again because he didn't pay for dinner

People are debating whether it was 'red flag' behaviour

A woman has divided opinion after admitting she doesn't want to see her date again because he didn't pay for dinner.

Posting on the 'Am I Being Unreasonable' thread of Mumsnet, the woman began by explaining she 'met a guy online' and ended up meeting him for a first date which entailed a 'walk in the countryside near to where he lived'.

According to the woman, the bloke 'seemed a really nice guy with great interests and gorgeous dog' - all very important attributes.

The woman has sparked debate over what counts as a 'red flag'.
Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels

The pair then stopped off at a nearby cafe and 'had sandwich lunch about £8 each, no alcohol or anything'.

"Very kindly," she wrote, "he offered to pay and I accepted."

The woman made sure to outline there was 'no kiss or anything like that' which followed the gesture.

Now, onto the second date.

"He said he was going to be working near me and would I like to do something," she penned. "I offered to book a pub dinner near to where he would clock off."

She continued: "Again, it went well I thought, but conscious of seeing the prices on the menu I knew I wouldn’t want him to pay for me particularly as he had bought me the sandwich.

"At the end of the meal when he asked for the bill, I said 'You paid last time so I don’t want you paying again'."

And this is where things seemed to go south.

Many dubbed the ordeal a 'red flag'.

The woman revealed: "He misconstrued this as me saying I would settle the whole thing (what I meant was we just had split it) and I guess I was so flummoxed that this had happened I just paid especially since the waitress was kind of hovering over us…

"I was embarrassed to talk about it. Bill was £110!"

Big yikes - you could probably have about a dozen 'sandwich lunches' for that sum.

The woman then opened up the forum after wondering if the whole ordeal was a 'major red flag'.

"I don’t know him well enough to determine and honestly it’s put me off," she admitted. "I don’t think I want to meet up again."

"Yes I can afford it," the woman finished up, as I’ve worked really hard to build up my own business.

"I didn’t tell about money at all and am not flashy but I did talk about what I do and maybe he just made an assumption?"

"Am I being unreasonable?" she concluded.

Over 700 people have since weighed in on the matter, many of which defended the woman.

One Mumsnet user declared: "He shouldn’t have accepted when there was a massive difference like that.

"He should’ve split or paid for all the drinks if you headed somewhere after the meal. Paying £8 v £110 when you’ve met someone twice is really cheeky!

Others, however, didn't see any issue.

"Even if he misunderstood your offer, he should have known that wasn’t a fair exchange."

A second agreed: "The polite thing for him to do given the discrepancy in cost would have been to say 'no - it's too much, let's go halves' as opposed to just letting you pony up over a hundred pounds!

"So I think it is a bit of a red flag, albeit it sounds like he misunderstood you. Definitely give him another chance though."

Others, however, didn't deem the fiasco a 'red flag' in the slightest.

"Of course it’s not a red flag," claimed one person. "It just so happened you went to a cheaper place for the first date and a more expensive place for the second. I’m sure he’s aware of this and will get it next time.

"You made it sound like you would pay."

A final Mumsnet user added: "Sounds like he was quite willing to pay but respectful of you offering. If you like him I think you'd be nut to bin him for that."

What do you make of it?

Featured Image Credit: d3sign/Getty / Oscar Wong/Getty

Topics: Real Life, Sex and Relationships