Man who started viral ‘wife vs mum’ debate speaks out
The man who started the viral 'wife vs mum' debate has spoken out on the discourse, which has seemingly split the internet right down the middle.
Akshat Arora, who goes by the handle @themoderndadedit, shared a reel with his 3,800 followers last month (28 October), showing him playing with his child in a swimming pool along with the overlay text that quoted: "'I'll always prioritise my mum over my wife'."
The popular content creator then responded to the quote, writing: "Imagine being a child and watching your dad constantly choose his mum over your mum."
He followed up the post, which has since sparked a seriously heated debate online with hundreds of differing comments, writing in the caption: "So many still proudly put their mums above their wives… again and again.
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"Yet the most emotionally secure mums want their sons to stand beside their wives - the women raising their grandchildren with everything they have. This isn’t about choosing one to love more. It’s about the impact."
He continued: "Parents will always matter. That never changes. Though when you commit to a partner and build a home, your family unit becomes the priority. That’s how you protect the love your children grow up inside."
Akshat rounded off the post writing: "Healthy boundaries. Healthy marriage. Healthy childhood."
'Wife vs mum' debate
Now, many people agreed with Akshat, with one Instagram user writing: "Prioritising the mother of your child isn’t 'abandoning' your own mum. It’s called healthy boundaries. A strong mum raises a son who can love his wife without making her compete. The funny thing is… the moment people run out of logic, they always switch to personal insults. That tells you everything."
A second chimed in: "A mother should NEVER expect her son to put her above HIS family. A real mother would be proud that she had raised her son to look after his wife and children, and she shouldn’t be jealous that they come first."
"If you're a mum and you expect your son to choose you over his own wife, then you have failed hardcore as a mother," slammed a third.
Others, however, couldn't have disagreed more.
"Nothing comes before MUM!!! Nothing!!!" slammed a fourth while another questioned: "So you want your child to abandon you for any woman that walks into his life because that's what you're saying."
And a final Instagram user echoed: "Nothing comes before a woman who raised you, birthed you, kept you safe. If it wasn't for your mum, you wouldn't be standing where you're standing."
Akshat's response
Speaking exclusively to Tyla, Akshat shared: "I made this reel because I kept noticing a pattern nobody was naming out loud - especially in South Asian households:
"Men proudly fight to be 'good sons' while quietly failing as partners and fathers… and calling it loyalty. Someone had to say it plainly: love is not a hierarchy, it’s a responsibility."
Akshat explained that he creates content that 'holds up a mirror to modern fatherhood', adding: "Because the emotional inheritance we pass to our kids matters more than the one we received. I didn’t make the reel to provoke outrage; I made it to provoke reflection."
He noted that the virality of the video 'proved something' important to him.
"The silence around this topic was already loud," he said, noting: "When a dad constantly puts his mother above his child’s mother, the child doesn’t just witness it - they internalise it.
"A son learns a script: that a man can outgrow a house but remain a boy emotionally. That his partner is optional, but his mother is unquestionable. He’ll repeat this unless he rewrites it."
For daughters, Akshat says, they learn a 'ranking system'.
"She learns where women stand. She learns love is conditional, negotiated, not safe," he said. "This is why the reel spread across millions - wives tagged husbands, husbands admitted guilt, and people across cultures said, 'We’ve needed someone to say this'."
Where do you stand on the debate?
Topics: Life, Real Life, True Life, Social Media, Instagram, Tyla Exclusive, Sex and Relationships, Parenting
Rhiannon Ingle