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Woman considers ‘divorcing’ husband after he asks her to become stay-at-home mum to avoid nursery costs

Home> Life> Sex & Relationships

Published 15:54 5 Sep 2023 GMT+1

Woman considers ‘divorcing’ husband after he asks her to become stay-at-home mum to avoid nursery costs

Despite earning over £100k, a mother has revealed that her husband will not pay childcare costs, and asked her to become a stay-at-home mum.

Mia Williams

Mia Williams

Despite earning over £100k, a mother-of-three has revealed her husband will not pay for child-care costs, and is asking her to become a stay at home mum.

The anonymous woman took to Mumsnet, to vent about her current childcare situation.

Her husband, who makes £150k a year, has requested that she becomes a stay-at-home mum instead of working her part-time job earning £24,500 a year.

She stated that she couldn’t possibly afford to cover the childcare bill on her wage, as she has three children under three.

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The pair agreed after being married for six years, that she would work just three days a week, due to childcare for five days of the week being too expensive.

She stated she couldn't afford childcare costs on just her salary.
Kathrin Ziegler/Getty Images

They also agreed to continue splitting the mortgage and nursery bills 75 percent to 25 percent, her paying the lesser amount.

During her maternity leave, her husband decided to venture into a new business, and as a result the pair struggled financially.

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Because of this, the husband decided he would save money by withdrawing his share of nursery costs.

Making the situation worse, he requested that she resigned from her job to become a stay-at-home mum.

She wrote: “Financially we were very secure before having our third so at the time, the decision to have a third was okay.

“My husband is now refusing to pay for nursery for two of the girls.

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"He is demanding that I quit my job and be a stay-at-home mum to look after the children.

"I will not be able to work part-time and afford nursery based on my salary alone.

"Am I being unreasonable to want to keep my job so that I also have a source of income?

The mum is even considering divorce.
Oleg Breslavtsev/Getty Images

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"Am I being unreasonable to expect my husband to pay for nursery considering his salary compared to mine?

"Especially considering I am only earning statutory maternity pay?"

She added: "Financially, I will be better off with a divorce and I think the way our relationship has turned since falling pregnant with our 3rd, it seems like the only option.

"I keep giving chances to DH [Darling Husband] to change and I have refrained from contacting lawyers due to the fact that I wanted to keep a family unit for the children."

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Commenters were furious, one said: "Sorry, but how have you got to this point?

"When married with kids, all income should be pooled.

"And I'm begging you not to become a stay-at-home in that scenario.

"He's being utterly selfish.

"Does he not realise they are his offspring as much as yours?"

Another said: "Do not quit your job, even if you have to use all of your salary.

"You can claim child benefit and then your husband would have to pay it back through his tax.

"Ask him if he would rather go about things in this way."

Featured Image Credit: PeopleImages/Getty/Oscar Wong/Getty

Topics: Parenting, Sex and Relationships

Mia Williams
Mia Williams

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