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Study reveals how most people actually self-pleasure and not everyone will be happy
Home>Life>Sex & Relationships
Published 13:26 20 Jun 2025 GMT+1

Study reveals how most people actually self-pleasure and not everyone will be happy

You've likely done it yourself at some point

Mia Williams

Mia Williams

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Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Dating

Mia Williams
Mia Williams

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New research has revealed a wild detail about self-pleasure that some partners will likely not approve of, despite an overwhelming majority of people doing it.

Self-pleasure has always been a slightly taboo subject, however, it is a natural thing, and if you ever decide to go cold turkey, then prepare for a wild ride.

And with the internet's help, people are becoming more open when it comes to what gets them going, with a number of trends arising over the years, such as the 'JOI' trend.

For some, delving into what people really think about when having their alone time, seems a touch invasive.

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However, it seems we're more alike than people might assume, because an overwhelming percentage of people think about the same thing while masturbating - according to new research.

But while the revelation might be concerning to those in long-term relationships, a sex therapist has assured people that it isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Research has revealed a controversial detail about self-pleasure (Getty Stock Images)
Research has revealed a controversial detail about self-pleasure (Getty Stock Images)

A new survey from Ohdoki, a pleasure tech company that made The Handy, revealed that 76 per cent of men and 59 per cent of women think of an ex when masturbating.

I know, bombshell information.

But while the thought of your partner fantasying about doing such activities with their ex in mind could cause some problems in the bedroom, there could be some positives to it.

Speaking to Everygirl, Kristie Overstreet noted that it could 'be a healthy way to look back on what was good in the relationship'.

It's not an ideal time to be doing so, but we'll go with it. She also noted that it could be 'a way to use the past relationship to help enhance the current relationship'.

According to The New York Post, Clinical psychologist, Pamela Stephenson Connolly, also suggested that thinking of prior sexual experiences that are now 'forbidden', could be a real turn on during self-pleasure.

But that's not the only thing as the study also revealed that a surprising amount of people actually prefer masturbating to sex.

The study noted that the majority of people think about their ex while masturbating (Getty Stock Images)
The study noted that the majority of people think about their ex while masturbating (Getty Stock Images)

The survey suggested that 29 percent of people prefer solo pleasure to the real thing, including almost one in three men (31 per cent) and just over a quarter of women (26 percent).

As for why that might be the case, sex and relationship coach, Gemma Nice, narrowed it down to control.

She said: "When you are masturbating, you can control the rhythm, the pace and the pressure.

"That level of precision allows people to tune into exactly what they want and reach orgasms that are incredibly intense."

However, a warning also comes attached to that advice as she continued: "If you rely too heavily on masturbation for satisfaction, it can affect the quality of partnered sex.

"You may become so used to your own technique that a partner’s touch feels less fulfilling.

"Masturbation shouldn’t be a replacement for connection. If that’s happening, it’s a sign that more open communication is needed, outside the bedroom, too."

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