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Woman labelled ‘red flag’ after response to coffee suggestion for first date goes viral
Home>Life>Sex & Relationships
Published 16:01 9 Jan 2026 GMT

Woman labelled ‘red flag’ after response to coffee suggestion for first date goes viral

The text message exchange has amassed nearly 20 million views - and everyone has an opinion on it

Rhiannon Ingle

Rhiannon Ingle

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Featured Image Credit: Getty/X/@WestsideLAGuy

Topics: Dating, Dating trends, Life, Sex and Relationships, Social Media, Twitter, Food and Drink, Real Life, True Life, Money

Rhiannon Ingle
Rhiannon Ingle

Rhiannon Ingle is a Senior Journalist at Tyla, specialising in TV, film, travel, and culture. A graduate of the University of Manchester with a degree in English Literature, she honed her editorial skills as the Lifestyle Editor of The Mancunian, the UK’s largest student newspaper. With a keen eye for storytelling, Rhiannon brings fresh perspectives to her writing, blending critical insight with an engaging style. Her work captures the intersection of entertainment and real-world experiences.

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One woman has sparked a seriously heated debate online after her response to grabbing a coffee and going for a walk on a first date went viral online.

The drama all started when one X user took to the social media platform to share what appeared to be an exchange he had with someone he was keen to go on a date with.

According to the screenshot, the message exchange began with him asking: "U around this week? Let's grab a drink & hang out."

The woman then replied, explaining: "We can grab a bite to eat, I don't really drink. Free today or Friday. Can u FaceTime?"

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The bloke didn't seem too happy with that plan, offering instead: "Let's grab coffee & go for a walk then."

He added the disclaimer: "I don't do meals on first dates."

Matching his energy, the woman then gracefully declined his offer, telling him: "I don't do coffee on first dates. It was nice to meet you. Good luck in your search."

Would you be cool with grabbing coffee for a first date? (Janina Steinmetz / Getty Images)
Would you be cool with grabbing coffee for a first date? (Janina Steinmetz / Getty Images)

In the post, which has racked up over 18.9 million views, the X user added in the caption: "HUGE red flag: girl insists on a meal for a first date."

To us, it sounds like he outlined his 'oh no no' and she politely did the same, but if that was the end of the story, we wouldn't be writing it. Needless to say, it's triggered a huge divide online.

After sifting through the genuinely embarrassing and, at times, downright misogynistic comments not uncommon when it comes to the 'manosphere' blowing up claims of women being goldiggers who use dating as a vehicle for free fancy meals out, it seems the responses fell into either one of two categories.

A) people were on the woman's side and totally understood where she was coming from, or B) people had no idea what she was on about and reckoned a coffee date was actually an optimistic first outing.

Oh yeah, and I guess there was a C) category of people who genuinely couldn't care less about allegedly 'chronically online' dating drama.

People were super divided over the dating dilemma (Anastasiia Krivenok / Getty Images)
People were super divided over the dating dilemma (Anastasiia Krivenok / Getty Images)

One X user defended: "Yeah, she realised the guy was too rigid and annoying and made the right call."

"I’m on her side so much I thought I wrote it wtf," confessed a second as a third chimed in: "Yeah, she’s right idc."

A fourth praised: "The way she stood on business? That’s how you do it."

Others, however, strongly disagreed.

"Coffee dates are the best first dates? Y’all are insane," jabbed a fifth.

A sixth agreed: "Coffee and a walk is a great way to get to know someone."

What do you make of it? (X/@WestsideLAGuy)
What do you make of it? (X/@WestsideLAGuy)

"Realising you want the date to end halfway through appetisers is a terrible feeling," highlighted a seventh. "Food as a first date is genuinely a bad idea."

Another shared: "Coffee and a walk feels safer, though."

"Imo coffee is the perfect 1st date bc you can choose to extend it however long you want, but if you don't vibe, you're only really locked into the interaction for like 10 minutes."

And, as we say, the final group of people couldn't give a t*ss.

"Why do people care what you do on a first date? Just go have fun and talk, and learn about each other. It shouldn't matter what you're doing," wrote one as a final X user resolved: "Nobody’s wrong here, just mismatched vibes."

Where do you stand on the matter?

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