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Mum refuses to give up ex's surname after he gets engaged to another woman

Home> Life> Sex & Relationships

Updated 18:06 9 Oct 2023 GMT+1Published 17:56 9 Oct 2023 GMT+1

Mum refuses to give up ex's surname after he gets engaged to another woman

A mum has taken to Reddit to ask if she's an 'a**hole' for refusing to give up her surname after her ex proposed to a new woman.

Gregory Robinson

Gregory Robinson

A mum sparked debate after she was asked to give up her ex’s surname after he became engaged to another woman.

The woman said no, but now the ‘new bride’ has apparently resorted to legal threats.

Surnames are massively important. Just think of how much power the names Kardashian’ and ‘Jenner’ have in our everyday lives.

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Now, that famous family is obviously no stranger to divorce, which brings us to the topic of what should happen to your surname if you part ways from your spouse?

Should you automatically give up the surname you’ve become accustomed to? There’s no law which states that you have to, but what if the new wife wants you to do just that?

"I kept my ex husband's last name after we divorced," the woman revealed in a Reddit post.

"We're still friends and it was too much of a hassle to revert to my maiden name since I'd already graduated college and started my career with my married name. I also like having the same surname as my kids.

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"My ex has never cared before, nor does my current boyfriend."

Should the mum give back her surname?
Karl Tapales/1BSG/Getty Images

The Reddit user explained that she was with her ex-hubby for nine years, seven of which were after they tied the knot. Together they share three children, who are now aged six, eight and 11.

Her ex-husband’s new partner wants the surname all to herself, meaning that she wants the ex-wife to give up the surname she’s had for almost a decade.

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"I've met her only a handful of times, but she seemed nice enough and my kids haven't voiced any issues with her, which to me is the most important thing," she explained in her post.

"So I was shocked when out of the blue she contacted me a few days after they announced the engagement and asked that I revert back to my maiden name. I literally laughed out loud when I read her text, I didn't think she was serious at first but she was."

The ‘new wife’ defended her demands by stating that since the man will soon have a new spouse, it would be wrong for the ex-wife to have the same surname. And the mum’s ex has also weighed in, by asking her to reconsider her refusal, adding that the name was never ‘technically’ hers any way.

How cheeky!

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"I let him know I wasn't going to go through the headache of changing it again," she explained, "but if they were so concerned about names he should take her surname."

She added: “I got ANOTHER message from his fiancée which was basically a thinly veiled legal threat about suing me to change my name," the woman said, adding that she hasn't yet responded to the message and she’s unbothered about the 'frivolous lawsuit'.

The new bride wants her hubby's surname all to herself.
Pexels

Reddit users weighed in on all the drama. "His fiancee is being ridiculous and he should realise it's HUGE red flags if she's this determined to 'erase' the previous wife who is on good terms,” one Reddit commenter wrote. “Those kids are going to be there, a constant reminder that yes, he was married before, and it seems like that eventually is going to boil over."

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"I think your ex husband understands why you're keeping it and he seems like a reasonable person," another person said. "He is just struggling to come to terms with his fiance's obsessive compulsion to your surname. I think the best thing to do here would just be to blow off the fiance and ignore her, since her lawsuit won't go anywhere regardless."

While a third person quipped: “I would keep the last name then change your first name to his but I am petty as f**k.”

Featured Image Credit: Karl Tapales/1BSG/Getty Images

Topics: Wedding, Sex and Relationships, Life, Real Life, Reddit

Gregory Robinson
Gregory Robinson

Gregory is a journalist working for Tyla. After graduating with a master's degree in journalism, he has worked for both print and online publications and is particularly interested in TV, (pop) music and lifestyle. He loves Madonna, teen dramas from the '90s and prefers tea over coffee.

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