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Topics: Sex and Relationships, Life
Jess Battison
Everyone comes with a bit of baggage in a relationship; maybe they’ve been cheated on, maybe they’ve got daddy issues, or maybe they’ve simply just had a bit of a rough time.
But how would you feel if your partner’s baggage was a string of previous engagements and marriages?
Feels more like a moving van’s amount of emotional damage than a simple carry-on.
One woman discovered that her partner has already been engaged three times and divorced twice by the age of 39.
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She took to Mumsnet to reveal that while her romantic interest is ‘attractive’ they are also ‘intense’ and she’s worried they ‘throw themselves into things in a big way’ – which can be too much for a lot of people.
In her original post, she wrote: “I've started to date someone. Lots in common and I'm attracted to them.
“They've told me they are twice divorced and also been engaged a further time.
“One thing I have noticed is they they are very intense and throw themselves into things in a big way.
“Should this be a red flag?”
And the users shared rather mixed views, as some just simply didn’t think it was a red flag in the relationship.
However, another added: “I wouldn’t take it any further. Too impulsive, too intense, too flighty.:
And for one, the ‘very intense thing’ would put them off ‘so no’.
Another commented : “Probably too intense for me, too much drama!”
But one suggested it could just be ‘bad luck’ for the partner.
However, the user did point out: “You’re suggesting it’s their personality – so it feels to you likely this person is a bit flightly, intense and dramatic… probably not worth it for a serious rela;tionship?”
Other users offered similar, though more positve, experiences from their love life.
With one writing: “I met someone who was 40 and divorced twice. We’ve been together 18 years now. Not married – not jinxing it.”
Opening up, another said: “I’d been divorced twice by 42. It didn’t make me a nutter, I’d just married two of them!”
The original poster later added that she herself hasn’t been married before.
She also included that the partner has one child with their last partner as well as ‘three step children they are close to’.
Many users suggested the best thing to do was to get ‘to know’ them rather than ‘relying on strangers’ opinions’.
What would you do in this situation?