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Topics: Sex and Relationships, Dating
Mia Williams
In an era of constant new dating and relationship trends, you'd be forgiven for having no clue what an 'ENM relationship' is.
Modern relationships come in all shapes and sizes. We've had the rise of DINK couples, the dreaded 'Ben Stage' and even the bedroom practice of 'soaking' which one ex-Mormon spilt the tea on.
Now, there's another relationship term doing the rounds online, but it's been met with some heavy stigma.
We're talking about ENM relationships. But what does it mean?
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ENM stands for 'ethical non-monogamy'.
It's basically the easiest way to describe relationships where partners are open and consensually intimate with others outside of the relationship.
And while the core principles are easy to navigate, the different kind of ENM relationships can be complicated to get your head around.
So let's take a look at the different types:
It's a term we're a lot more used to hearing and usually sparks the reaction - 'but how do you not get jealous?'
It involves having multiple physical, emotional or romantic relationships at the same time, as long as everyone included is consenting.
But there can also be structures to these kinds of relationships that is split up into two types:
Hierarchical Polyamory: Sometimes, despite partners seeing other people, there is a primary relationship that always takes precedence.
Non-Hierarchical Polyamory: In this kind of relationship, all of the partners included are seen as equal, with no connection ranking more important than another.
This is where two individuals in a committed relationship decide to date people outside of that.
They are usually casual and the non-romantic open relationship is a lot more common.
This is where the committed relationship maintains the primary romantic connection.
This is a group of three or more people that are all committed to one another, and vow not to have connections outside of the group.
This describes a relationship that is mostly monogamous, just two individuals, but occasionally seek out casual non-monogamous experiences.
Usually rules and boundaries are established beforehand.
This is where one individual engages in multiple relationships, but this is without expectation or exclusivity.
Independence is their main priority.
Other kinds of ENM relationships include swinging and causal dating.
The relationships maintain trust and respect by sticking to a set of core principles and values.
These include: Consent, communication, transparency, respect, boundaries, honesty, equality, compersion (the opposite of jealously), autonomy, and mutual benefit.
People in ENM relationships suggest that it isn't an attempt to make monogamous relationships appear invalid, but to provide an alternative way to live life.