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International Friendship Day: How To Survive A Break-Up With Your Best Friend

International Friendship Day: How To Survive A Break-Up With Your Best Friend

Breaking up is never easy to do but when it's with a friend, who has been there through the ups, downs and questionable fashion choices, that cut can feel all the deeper.

While there is no shortage of songs or movies depicting the difficulties of break-ups with a romantic partner, there's rarely any guidance on how to feel in the wake of a split from your BFF.

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So to mark International Friendship Day, Pretty52 chatted to Kate Leaver, author of The Friendship Cure, about how best to navigate the end of a friendship when it can feel like you're on our own.

Credit: Pexels
Credit: Pexels

"It's more like a death than anything else because this person who meant so much to you disappears from your life," the friendship expert said.

"We can have any number of friends, so when someone goes to the trouble to get to know us, to get close to us and then decide they don't want you in their life anymore, it's a lot more personal.

"It's something we deal with when we're five-years-old on the playground and I don't think we fully understand how painful it can be as an adult."

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And without your bestie by your side to pour your heart out over a bottle of wine, losing your friend can be isolating and frankly, upsetting.

Credit: Pexels
Credit: Pexels

Breaking up is no easy feat so Kate, who is working with funnyhowflowersdothat.co.uk to help you to re-connect with your friends by sending a bouquet of blooms, shared her best ways on how to deal with splitting up from your BFF.

Mourn - "We have a protocol on what to do when we end a romantic relationship, whether that's sitting in a dark room listening to Coldplay on repeat," she shared. "We give ourselves permission to mourn our romantic relationship, we have parents, friends, a therapist to talk about the pain.

"But when it comes to the end of a friendship, we don't always deal with the emotional aftermath.

Adding: "You have to give yourself permission to grieve the end of the friendship, it is a very important thing, especially if you were very close to them.

"We don't give ourselves enough room or credit to feel those emotions. For some reason it's more shameful to end a friendship then to end a romantic relationship."

Credit: Pexels
Credit: Pexels

Talk To People - The author explained that talking to other close friends or family members helps with the pain. Dealing with any kind of break-up is difficult to tackle on your own so opening up to those you trust will give you clarity on the situation.

"Sometimes friendships end and that's OK," she explained.

Write It Off - And if a reconciliation is off the cards, Kate suggested that writing a 'goodbye letter' to your BFF, one you'd never send, could help the healing process.

"If you don't want them back in your life, then writing a letter you won't send is helpful," Kate shared. "You can never wrong if you're trying to quietly heal and move on while trying to understand what happened."

"The way our brains work, we love to put events into emotions so if you can think about what happened between you two, you'll get closer to closure."

Credit: Pexels
Credit: Pexels

Take Up A Hobby - After you get over the initial pain, Kate suggests that taking up a new hobby could help with healing process as it gives you something to look forward to.

And while you don't need to make a new friend straight away, as they tend to happen organically, picking up a new hobby will allow you to "curate your social life so you're doing things with people who lift you up".

"Make sure you're spending time with people you care about the most; whether that be your parents or siblings or you're really close other friends."

Featured Image Credit: Warner Bros. Studios

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Real

Lisa McLoughlin

Lisa is a freelance journalist working for Tyla. She has worked for MailOnline, The Sun Online and Ireland's national broadcaster RTÉ. Please contact her on [email protected]

 

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