Woman stunned as husband-to-be admits he won't share finances despite earning four times more
Topics: Money, Sex and Relationships
Ben Thompson
Featured Image Credit: Brigitte Sporrer/Getty Images/Neustockimages/Getty Images
Topics: Money, Sex and Relationships
When couples get married, they often pool their financial resources together.
It's not unusual for married couples or those with plans to walk down the aisle to open up joint accounts.
But for one woman, she says her fiancé has completely ruled out sharing finances, despite the fact that he earns 'four times' more than her.
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And she says he has no plans for this to change after they exchange vows.
In a post on Mumsnet, she lamented: "I earn approximately $80k AUD so I'm under no illusion that I'm a low earner however he is making a significantly higher salary (earns at least four times my salary).
"I asked how our finances will be combined once we're married and he has said that it will be the same as it is now!"
Admittedly, her fiancé does pay for more general expenses due to his more generous payslip.
She continued: "I asked what would happen if we decide to have kids in the future and I went on maternity leave, he said he would set up a joint account that he would put amounts in but our finances would not be combined and that he needs to keep surplus money for savings."
This arrangement didn't 'sit right' with her, however, as she was convinced that she'd be 'losing out'.
She wrote: "[I don't like it] particularly if I have a period of time out of work whilst he controls the money and dishes it out to me when he sees fit!"
"I know I'm not entitled to his money but I can't help but feel I'd be putting myself in a vulnerable position! AIBU [Am I being unreasonable]?"
And other users weighed in with their perspectives, with many of them agreeing with her concerns.
One wrote: "You're not being unreasonable. If you’re married you’re one unit. My husband earns four times as much as me and we have one joint account and both our incomes go into it. End of story."
Another person took their advice a step further, saying: "Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. Don’t marry him. That is not what marriage is.
"Finances may not be romantic or sexy, but they are one of the biggest, most important parts of a relationship."
And another user wrote: "You need to resolve the access to each other's money, savings and finances for maternity leave before you get married and especially before you start trying for kids.
"Definitely do not agree to 'you should save your wages for your maternity leave' while he saves his own money for himself, that is not an equal partnership."
One thing is for certain - it's best to get this sorted out before vows are exchanged.