Woman gives hilarious tips on how to use toilet discretely at boyfriend's house

A woman has gone viral after sharing a number of tips on how to discreetly use the bathroom in someone else’s house.

Not just for a wee – for the other one.

It's a well-documented fact that, as the popular book name states, everybody poops.

It’s an unavoidable fact of life, but it doesn’t mean that it can’t be an anxiety-generating experience.

That counts doubly if you’re in a relationship with them – after all, you want them to be attracted to you, and thinking of you doing a number two isn’t exactly the most conducive thought to romance.

Well, unless you’re one of those people, anyway.

Now, a woman called Siena Filippi has shared a TikTok guide for the nervous pooer, offering a short tutorial for those who want to learn how to s*** in their boyfriend’s house with impunity.

Or should that be im-poo-nity?

Sorry.

TikTok/@ssiiena

In the short vid, Siena explained: “I'm gonna teach you how to s**t at a boy's house,

“This is for like the beginning of the relationship.”

She added: “If you're my man, keep scrolling.”

So, she’s got a ‘couple of methods’ that you can use, and she feels ‘pretty clever’ for having devised them.

The first tactic she calls the ‘body shower’.

“It doesn't even matter what you're doing, whatever time of day,” she explained.

“Just be like, ‘You know what? I feel a little sweaty, like I want a refresh. I'm gonna body shower.’

“Crank that [shower faucet] up.

“Now you have a sound cover and also a time cover for however long you need.”

The next tip utilises a similar strategy, this time using a hair dryer.

“Just be like, ‘I need to fix my hair really quick. It's getting really frizzy,’” she said.

TikTok/@ssiiena

The last piece of advice she gives is a technique called ‘the hammock’ and apparently it’s for all of the ‘speed machines’ out there.

It involves a piece of toilet roll laid out vertically across the toilet bowl in order to ensure ‘minimal sound and splash back’.

There you have it.

The video clearly resonated with some folks, many of whom have chimed in through the comments to offer their own suggestions.

“Don’t forget the courtesy flush! If you flush immediately when going #2 the smell won’t linger, then wipe, flush again!” said one.

“I've done the hammock in work bathrooms for years!” added a second.

“Works for limiting splash back, noise, and remnants after flushing.”

However, not everyone sees this as such a massive problem.

One person commented: “I have no shame, I go when I go. They can deal lol.”

Another wrote: “Wait…we are suppose [sic] to keep it a secret?! HUH?”

Obviously, this advice might not be necessary for everyone, but for those who are a bit nervous when it comes to this sort of – figurative and literal – s***, it’s a godsend.

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Life, Hacks

Tom Wood

Tom Wood is a LADbible journalist and Twin Peaks enthusiast. Despite having a career in football cut short by a chronic lack of talent, he managed to obtain degrees from both the University of London and Salford. According to his French teacher, at the weekend he mostly likes to play football and go to the park with his brother. Contact Tom on [email protected]

@TPWagwim