Woman left feeling uncomfortable as husband wants to name baby after his ex-girlfriend
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Featured Image Credit: Tero Vesalainen / Piya Sarutnuwat / Alamy Stock Photo
A husband has faced intense backlash online for suggesting to his current partner they name their baby after his ex-girlfriend.
If you ever needed an example which proves the importance of the phrase, 'Think before you speak,' then a husband's Reddit post questioning whether he's an 'a**hole' for suggesting to his wife they call their baby after his ex-girlfriend is all the proof you need.
Women really do seem to be from Venus and men from Mars - I'm not quite sure what response the Reddit user was expecting other than the blasting he's subsequently received.
Taking to the Reddit thread 'Am I the a**hole?', the user explained he and his wife are expecting a child in 12 weeks time.
He explained: "We don't know the sex of the baby but we've started thinking about baby names.
"[...] I had a girlfriend for around six years before meeting my now wife. Unfortunately she passed away and I was absolutely devastated. It's still painful to think about and I always imagined naming a child in her memory. I also just love the name itself (Nancy)."
When the user suggested the name to his wife, he notes she 'seemed unimpressed'.
"She told me she didn't really feel comfortable with doing that," the husband continues. "She felt it was strange and didn't make sense as Nancy had been my girlfriend."
However, the user explained: "The way I see it is that Nancy was very important to me for a really long time. She was my best friend and losing her was just a terrible thing. I feel as though it would be a great way to remember and honour a dear friend who I miss everyday."
Alas, the user notes his wife didn't 'share [his] views' and his suggestion has since 'caused a lot of issues' in their relationship.
He's since decided to 'drop it' as thinks it's 'important' they both agree on the name, but his wife is reportedly still confused as to why he suggested it in the first place.
The user resolved: "I don't know if she feels insecure or maybe the pregnancy is stressing her but she just won't drop it. I honestly don't see the issue whatsoever. AITA?"
Other Redditers were quick to jump on the post and give their advice to the soon-to-be father - and pretty much all of them hold the same view.
One said: "Yeah.... YTA. Not how you intended it, but it comes across of 'Hey wife you're my second choice, so lets name our kid after what would have been my first choice'."
"YTA. It’s okay to still feel sad, but your wife does not need a daily reminder of your ex girlfriend. I’ll be damned if I grow a baby for nine months just to name it after my husbands ex. You need to show more respect to your wife and ask her to forgive you," another wrote.
A third commented: "Grief is natural, honouring her memory in an appropriate way would be a healthy way to process it. Giving her name to a baby you're having with another woman isn't appropriate. YTA."
The husband later updated the thread's followers that after a bit of self reflection, he realises the name suggestion probably wasn't the smartest idea he's ever had.
The user said: "It seems like most people have said that I'm wrong in this situation which is understandable. I think I'll apologise again and hopefully the situation will end there. It probably was a weird idea and maybe I wasn't seeing that clearly as I'm still grieving to some extent.
"I also just wanted to make it clear that myself and Nancy weren't together when she passed. Nancy passed around two years after we separated but we had decided to stay friends. I met my wife around two months before Nancy and I separated. I probably should have mentioned that in the original post but maybe it doesn't make much of a difference. Anyway thanks for the feedback."
If you have experienced a bereavement and would like to speak with someone in confidence, contact Cruse Bereavement Care via their national helpline on 0808 808 1677
Topics: Parenting, Sex and Relationships