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Ex-Mormon reveals why controversial bedroom trend 'soaking' doesn't 'count as sex'

Home> Entertainment> TV & Film

Published 17:53 18 Sep 2024 GMT+1

Ex-Mormon reveals why controversial bedroom trend 'soaking' doesn't 'count as sex'

Lex has explained why 'soaking' isn't considered to be sex

Lucy Devine

Lucy Devine

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Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images

Topics: Sex and Relationships, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, TV And Film

Lucy Devine
Lucy Devine

Lucy is a journalist working for Tyla. After graduating with a master's degree in journalism, she has worked in both print and online and is particularly interested in fashion, food, health and women's issues. Northerner, coffee addict, says hun a lot.

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@lucedevine

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Ever since The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives dropped on Hulu and Disney+ earlier this month, viewers have been left fascinated.

The show takes a deep dive into the lives of a group of Mormon TikTok influencers from Utah.

At the centre of the series is the scandal involving cast member Taylor Frankie Paul, who admitted that she and her husband engaged in 'soft-swinging' with other couples.

The show follows a group of Mormon wives (Hulu)
The show follows a group of Mormon wives (Hulu)

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The show shines a light on Mormonism, with many viewers intrigued about some of the practices discussed.

It's release has also led to a number of former Mormon influencers taking to social media to discuss the show, and some of the talking points among viewers.

For example, former Mormon Alyssa Grenfell has spoken about the concept of 'soft swinging', explaining why it's so prevalent within the Mormon community and what it actually involves.

"Swinging, in my opinion, is actually prevalent in Mormon culture especially in Utah," said Alyssa.

"These women are getting married as young as 16, straight into childbirth... a lot of the men getting married around 20, 21... very early marriages and then when they find themselves in unhappy marriages they then try to resort to swinging to try and stay married.

"Getting divorced and breaking up a temple marriage is a really big deal within Mormonism so they resort to swinging as a way to have their cake and eat it too."

Meanwhile, Lex - who is also a former Mormon - has explained another controversial trend called 'soaking'.

Although sex before marriage is strictly prohibited in the Mormon culture, soaking is essentially penetrative sex without any movement.

In other words, the man inserts his penis into the women's vagina and both then lay there, completely still, letting it 'soak'.

No movement or thrusting is allowed, which has also led to something called 'jump-humping', in which a third party jumps on the bed so to mimic the movements of actual sex, without them having to do anything.

Alyssa has spoken about 'soft swinging' (Getty Stock Photo)
Alyssa has spoken about 'soft swinging' (Getty Stock Photo)

Now, we know what you're thinking... if the penis is inserted into the vagina then this surely classes as penetrative sex?

Well, Lex has explained why this isn't the case.

Taking to her YouTube channel, she said: "No moving, no thrusting, no wriggling... Mormons kind of view this as some sort of loophole, if there's not thrusting, it's not technically sex... It's one of those things that slowly happens."

Although some people have claimed that it 'isn't a thing', Lex explained that she had practiced soaking with her husband, but always felt a huge amount of guilt afterwards.

"It's something that does happen. What happens when you're in? Nothing. Just holding still. Because if you move, then it's sex.

The show is on Hulu and Disney+ (Hulu)
The show is on Hulu and Disney+ (Hulu)

"When it stops is when they can't take it anymore, pull out and finish.

"My husband and I soaked. The reason people don't admit to it is because it's embarrassing as f***k.

"So much guilt and shame. Every time my husband and I messed around before marriage, we felt horrible about it."

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is now streaming on Hulu and Disney+.

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