Featured Image Credit: HBO
Topics: Celebrity, Nicole Kidman, US News, TV And Film
Rhianna Benson
Nicole Kidman has made a heartbreaking admission about the emotional toll that playing a domestic and sexual abuse victim had on her wellbeing.
Looking back on one of her most highly-acclaimed, yet deeply disturbing television roles, the Australian movie star even admitted that filming some of her character's most explicit scenes left her in floods of tears after returning home.
Starring alongside fellow huge-name stars - including the likes of Laura Dern, Reese Witherspoon and Meryl Streep - the actress played Celeste Wright, a headstrong mother of young children who appears to harbour the perfect life, in the HBO show Big Little Lies.
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Behind closed doors, however, she endured a physically abusive marriage to her husband, played by Alexander Skarsgård. The show featured countless painful and often sexual scenes of the couple, which viewers naturally found excruciating to watch.
What many fans of the star-studded series didn't realise until recently, however, was exactly how much emotional exhaustion playing such a vulnerable character had on Kidman at the time.
This week, speaking to W Magazine, the mother-of-three began by explaining how 'ashamed' she'd feel after filming.
"And that's the same emotions and the same feelings that Celeste was having," Kidman continued. "So, we were very much parallel in the feelings, but I was willing to do that for the role because that's what I felt was important for the role.
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The Hollywood icon went on to admit: "I felt very exposed and vulnerable and deeply humiliated at times.
"I mean, I remember lying on the floor in the bathroom at the very end when we were doing the scenes in episode seven, and I was lying on the floor and I just wouldn't get up in-between takes.
"I was just lying there, sort of broken and crying, and I remember at one point Jean-Marc coming over and just sort of placing a towel over me because I was just lying there in half-torn underwear and just basically on the ground with nothing on and I was just, like [gasps]."
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She added, however: "But at times I would have flashes of images of women that have gone through this and I'm like, 'This is authentic, this is the truth and this is what I have to do', and it would just come through like that.
"But it was beautifully written, I have to say, and Jean-Marc is an exquisite director because he was able to modulate it and allow it to be and to grow and see and then sort of paste it together, you know."
Kidman went on to claim that several of the most violent scenes spurred a handful of viewers to reach out to her to express their gratitude, having been involved in similarly abusive relationships themselves.
She told the publication: "The simple part of it, yes, she’s abused, and it’s devastating, but the complicated part of it is why she stays and how it even happened in the first place.
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"As an actor of course you come up with your whole back story and what leads to what you see on-screen. There’s an enormous amount of material available; I’ve seen podcasts with women who are very honest talking about how they were in situations, and these are educated women, some who were saying they had the means to leave. ‘I could have left and I wouldn’t and I could not leave him.’
"And, I’m glad that it’s created the conversation, I’m glad that it sort of pulled the veil off."
She continued: "I’ve received the most amazing e-mails from people saying I now understand why women stay or why people stay with an abuser, and if that changes one person’s life, that’s amazing for me."