Vicky Pattison Says She Is 'Hopeful For The Future' After Documentary Release

Posting on social media after the doc was released, Vicky explained that for the first time in a long time, she is 'hopeful for [her] future'.

"Recover is not a race. It is a daily battle that a lot of people will never understand. They will assume those suffering are selfish and seek to distance themselves from the inevitable chaos that addiction brings.

"Over the last 10 years of my life I grew more terrified of my relationship with alcohol and the growing hold it had on me- seeing my life begin to imitate my dads left me feeling powerless and desperate. And of course, I drank more to cope.

"You'd think I have no more tears left to cry after breaking down and practically sobbing on pretty much every tv show and radio show in the country – and don't forget print interviews – I cried in those too...

"But I am crying as I write this – not because I am sad – but because for the first time in a long time I am hopeful for my future – I have every faith that I can have a normal and healthy relationship with ercan, that I can be a good mam and that I can live a life filled with light, love and happiness and not one filled with heartache, pain and constant disappointment of the ones I love."

Vicky also went on to thank her dad for taking part in the documentary, adding: "Finally I just wanted to say that I love my dad more than anything in the world and I'm so proud of him for being for honest, raw and above all else incredibly brave. You're amazing @johnpattison58."

Growing up, Vicky’s dad was a functional alcoholic. Looking back on her childhood as an adult she can now understand better, but still struggles with just how much her family went through.

During the emotional documentary, Vicky also looked back on her Geordie Shore days, when she had been excessively drinking and partying.

Speaking on This Morning ahead of the doc's release, Vicky discussed her own relationship with alcohol, telling hosts Rochelle Humes and Vernon Kay that she had used excuses for why she hasn’t started a family despite wanting to do so.

Rochelle asked: “Actually you would like a family but you've been a little bit reserved about that and sort of held off because you're sort of a little bit worried that perhaps your children will have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol?”

Vicky then explained: “Over the years I've had every excuse for why I've not had kids yet... I was selfish, I was too young, there was more of my career I wanted to have first."

She became emotional as she added: "If those reasons were legitimate it would have been absolutely fine but I think it was all sort of all hiding this feeling that I genuinely believed I was gonna have children that felt in some way broken, a little bit like me.”

After composing herself, she went on to add: "The documentary has helped me realise that there is an element of alcoholism that is hereditary or learned behaviour, but there is also a huge element of it that we can control if you get to it fast enough or if you have the right resources around you.

“So for the first time in my life I do feel really hopeful in that sense.”

Vicky Pattison: Alcohol, Dad and Me is available to watch now on All4.